Mojofly Now

Got a taste of Lougee Basabas, Ricci Gurango, and Ali Alejandro, collectively known as Mojofly, during their mall tour at Robinson's Metro East. I once thought that Mojofly without Kitchie Nadal would mean the death of the Mojo. They can try to revive it, breathe life into it, but their efforts would be futile. I was wrong. The trio was able to bring the Mojo back to life! Astig nila. Plus Angelo Alihaj D. Alejandro is really cute beyond words! ^_^

"Wag ng paikutin ang isa’t isa
Lahat ng bagay ay malinaw na
Di na rin kailangan pagpilitan pa
Di mo na kinakailangan pang magsalita"
--- Mata, Mojofly

I Wonder

One day, it will all end.
This will all end.
It has to.
For my sake, it has to.

When that day comes,
will you feel the loss?
When that day comes,
will you understand?
When that day comes,
will you forgive me?

The Power of God

During the last few weeks of classes, a series of unfortunate events occured that I felt like my chances of passing two of my major subjects are getting slimmer by the minute. First, I wasn't able to attend our Mult343 defense due to sickness. Then, we weren't able to submit our final thesis proposal paper to Sir Umoso on time due to our panelists. Our paper was delayed for like almost two weeks. I already told my parents that they should not expect me to pass all of my subjects and that my decision of waiving three subjects was a big mistake. Instead of giving me a rap on the knuckles, they simply told me that I should just lift it up to Him and allow Him to work things out for me. So I did. And guess what? I found out just tonight that I passed all of my subjects! And not only did I pass, I also earned myself a half-scholar status! Yay for me! ^_^

Such is life! Such is the power of God!

OTI Amazing Race 2

Last night, we had our own version of the Amazing Race that served as an induction for our applicants. Being one of the team leaders made me all excited weeks before the race itself. The thought of running from one place to another and causing bystanders to turn their heads toward us was thrilling enough. Hehe! KSP talaga. >_<

Ed: "Sabi sa clue isang tataktripper na naka-white cap."
Rafael: "E di maghanap tayo ng naka-white cap."
Ed: "Ayun! Si Jollibee!"

Hehehe! Nah, Jollibee wasn't hiding the clue in between his legs and neither are we at the right building. After a couple of wrong turns, we finally reached Paseo Center and got hold of the third clue.

Inside the MRT...
Ed: "Pantasya ng bayan ang inyong puntahan."
Rafael: "Sino ba yon? Si Joyce Jimenez o si Aubrey Miles?"
Ed: "Pantasya ng bayan e... so fantasy. Ano nga yung bagong show sa GMA?"
Rafael: "Ano? Yung Encantadia?"
Ed: "Oo tama. Yun nga sigurong Encantadia. Kasi fantasy e."

Waaaahhh! I wanted to tell them that IT IS Joyce Jimenez and not some fantasy show aired in GMA! We roamed around Farmers for what it seemed like eternity looking for God-knows-what. After a security guard knocked some sense in them, we immediately ran to Private Joyce where they acquired their fourth clue. We then headed to Riverbanks Center in Marikina City for the fifth clue. Took some pictures and ran some more before I gave them their sixth clue and grilled a Tilapia for the last clue. Then, off to the pitstop (Gazebo) where they had their oath-taking and where they received their certificates of membership.

Congratulations to our 14 newly inducted members! Y'all deserve to be!

Red-Haired Albino

I hate it when men twice my size knock me over in their rush to get on the MRT. I hate it when they look out of the window or pretend to be asleep just so they won't have to give up their seats. Well, not necessarily for me coz I don't mind standing from Cubao to Buendia but rather for someone in need of it more than they do.

I remember one time when a pregnant woman stood beside me, everyone seated in front of us suddenly became tired and fell asleep! As in everyone! Grabe. Was her tummy not big enough for them to notice?! *Sigh* Some people really need to buy their manners. If you're one of them, help yourself and try this link.

Gentlemen nowadays are indeed as rare as albinos. Lucky me I was able to bump into one on my way to school. A red-hair clad in washed shirt and torn jeans offered me his seat!

Astig nya talaga. ^_^

Judge Not, Lest You Be Judged

You have no right to judge me. You don't know me anymore. You don't know what's been happening. You don't see the whole picture. Stop acting like you know it all coz you fuckin' don't.

Sure, you can say whatever you want to say. But just because you can, doesn't mean that you should. Did it ever occur to you that maybe those were the last words that I would want to hear from you? How can you be so callous? ARRGGHH!!!

Can I ask you a favor? If you still have something to say, just raise your hand and place it over your mouth. FUCK OFF!

Brain Drain

Stayed at Jerome's house last Friday with Clint, Cris, and Master Edzel for our Mult343 project. I came home Saturday night. Then yesterday, I stayed at Yel's house with Ruiza for our theses and IT234P project. Ramnel dropped by to help me out and Ogie simply dropped by. Ehe! :) Yay! Nakapag-overnight din! At last, I feel kinda productive. I wasn't able to clock in some sleep though that I literally forced myself to fight off gravity during my Ethics class! >_<

Conversation between two sleppyheads:
Andrew: "Ano nga yung tinatanong ko sayo?"
Me: "Ha? Mei tinatanong ka ba sken?"
Andrew: "Alam ko meron e."
Me: "Nasagot ko na ba?"
Andrew: "Ewan ko din."
Me: "..."
Andrew: "Tulog na lang tayo."

Emotions In Motion

I've been carrying this excess baggage for quite some time now that my shoulders are starting to hurt. It has caused me to standstill at the very same spot where he left me. Without even trying to take a single step forward for fear of losing my balance and falling flat on my face. Then I realized, this is not fair. They seem to be enjoying their lives while I'm stuck here carrying this heavy load. I also want to move forward. I also want to enjoy life. And if I really want to, I have to drop whatever excess baggage there is that burdens me.

I told her that I'm fine now. That all is forgiven. It's the only real thing I can offer her anyway. I didn't want it to happen and I guess they didn't want it to happen either but it did. The harm has been done and it killed me in many ways I never thought possible. But that's just the way it is. I've learned to accept what I found out with little resistance. I've learned to embrace its thorns. Wow. Could that be a sign of maturity? Of sacrifice and great love? Hell, I dunno. I'm sure of one thing though. Acceptance and forgiveness can be very liberating.

Nweiz, I better start walking.

Thesis It

Defended our thesis proposal this afternoon in front of Ma'am Ramones and Sir Banlag Bumanlag. As expected, there were a lot revisions. We need to redo the survey, the conceptual framework, include the ERD, normalized tables, search algorithm, and some additional features. I stared at Sir Neo while he recapped the changes hoping that my evil stare would burn a hole in him. But it didn't. *Sigh* God, please give me enough brainpower to last the week. I'll need it.

Jacko Wacko

The verdict is out. Michael Jackson is not guilty. Meaning it's ok to sleep with little boys, give them a little booze, and have some gay porn lying around the bed. Ha! Well according to one of the jurors, they came up with such a decision because the prosecutors weren't able to present a strong evidence against Jacko though most of them think that he's not an innocent man. Fine, so he got away with it. I still believe though that he has some serious issues to deal with and that he needs some serious help. I really hope he finds it. But for now, stay away from the kids!

Katakot. If I were a kid, I wouldn't go within a hundred yards near this person. His surgeon should have his license revoked! Seriously.

Conversation between me and my youngest brother:
Me: "Ay, ang corny. Na-abswelto si Michael Jackson.."
Mico: "Oo nga."
Me: "Aysus, alam mo ba kung anong kaso niya?!"
Mico: "Yung child... yung child... di ko alam yung buo e."
Me: "Child molestation!"
Mico: "Ayun tama! Nakalimutan ko yung tawag e."
Me: "Alam mo ba ibig sabihin non?!"
Mico: "Yung parang ihuhulog niya yung baby..."
Me: "Hehe! Hindi yun yon!"
Mico: "Hindi ba? E ano?"
Me: "Basta. Mahirap i-explain."
Mico: "E ano nga? Gawin mo nga sakin."
Me: "WAHAHAHA!!!"

Make Poverty History

The ONE Campaign ad on MTV has caught my attention a couple of months ago and it's just now that I'm able to take action. For the benefit of those who are not aware of this campaign, it aims to convince the American government to set aside an additional 1% of their budget, that is $25 billion, to fight AIDS, starvation, and extreme poverty around the world.

---

One by one
They step forward
A nurse
A teacher
A homemaker
And lives are saved

But the problem is enormous
Every three seconds
One person dies
Another three seconds
One more

The situation is so desperate
In parts of Africa
Asia
Even America
That aid groups
Just as they did for the Tsunami
Are uniting
As one
Acting
As one

We can beat extreme poverty
Starvation
AIDS
But we need your help

One more person
Letter
Voice
Will mean the difference
Between life and death
For millions of people

Please join us by working together
Americans have an unprecedented opportunity
We can make history
We can start to make poverty history
One
By one
By one

We're not asking for your money
We're asking for your voice

---

What are you waiting for? Take ONE minute today and sign the declaration.

So Help Me God

I'm beginning to look at the things that happened last night in a different perspective. I think I'm gonna take all that as a sign from the Big Guy up there. Maybe He showed me the crying girl and the dead guy because He wanted me to realize that life is too short and I shouldn't waste it crying over things that I have no control over. Hmm, looks like He wants me to be happy. And I do want to. I wanna be happy. Genuinely happy. And at peace. I know I'm harboring a certain amount of bitterness inside and I want to let go of that. I also want to forgive the persons who have caused me to feel this way. If only I could find it in my heart to forgive. So help me God.

Between Life And Death

Tonight has been an emotional override for me. My heart feels so heavy that I feel like I'm gonna explode. I witnessed two incidents that affected me in such a distressing manner and drove my tear ducts at work.

Incident#1:
I saw this girl inside the MRT. She looked like she's gonna burst out into tears any minute. There's an awful lot of pain in her eyes, I can almost feel it. I wanted to console her and hug her and even cry with her. I dunno why I feel so much for this girl when I don't even know her. Is it because I've been there and I've done that? Perhaps. I've held back my tears a million times and I know how hard and painful it is. When all you can do is cry but you can't even cry properly. When the tears remain trapped within and they're beginning to choke you to death but still you choose to hold it back and keep your eyes dry. Yes, I've been there and I've done that. But you should see me now. My eyes are no longer dry.

Incident#2:
I saw a dead guy lying in the street. I've no idea why I felt a tinge of pain upon seeing his dead body. I mean, I've seen a lot of corpses before and for me, it's just that, a corpse. But tonight, I had this sudden feeling of helplessness. What if he was someone I know? What if he was someone I love? What if it was me? When and HOW will death take its toll on me and my loved ones? When? Ten years from now? Twenty? How? Through an accident? Illness? Old age? My finite knowledge is not enough to come up with answers to these questions. My finite power is not enough to cheat death. I've long accepted the fact that it is something inevitable. But what really bothers me is the uncertainty that comes with it. And with that, I feel so helpless.

*Sigh* I'd give my right arm for even a small dosage of good vibes.

~oo0oo~

Well not that I'm being morbid but it got me thinking about the day that I will take Death's boney hand in mine. To whoever's reading this, if I die, make sure that the things written here are carefully followed. Or else... hehe! Hmm, I'll start off with the casket. I want a black casket with gold accents and petals of red roses scattered on top. When it comes to my make-up, no red lipstick, no dark eyeshadow and no blob of red blush that will make me look like a whore. Make it as natural as possible. Ala Sleeping Beauty. ;) Lastly, I want a good lineup of songs. I don't want someone with an awful taste in music choose some random songs for me. So here goes the anthem of my dying day:

-Play Sarah McLachlan's "Angel" every night of my wake.
-Come my burial day, play Gary Valenciano's "Warrior Is A Child" after the Holy Mass. If you get someone to perform it live, then better. (Ngak! Reminds me of Rico Yan. >_<)
-On our way to the memorial park, play Color It Red's "Paglisan" over and over until we reach my "spot".
-While my casket is being buried six feet beneath the rich brown earth, play Shawn Colvin's "Never Saw Blue Like That".

Well, that's about it for my last shebang on planet earth.

People say that I'm amazing
I'm strong beyond my years
But they don't see inside of me
I'm hiding all the tears"
--- Warrior Is A Child, Gary Valenciano

Guilt Trip

I wasn't able to attend all my classes today. Woke up feeling incredibly sore. So there goes TWO exams and my aim for a perfect attendance. Well I won't blame it on the weather neither am I gonna blame it on schoolwork. Actually, I won't blame it on anything or anyone else but YEL. He's been spreading his virus since Monday and my immune system had gone kaput. And because he's in a guilt trip, he'll be printing our thesis document from the title page down to the appendix. Hmm, fair enough.

Killing Time

Since I had some time to kill, I decided to stop by Fully Booked at Gateway and get myself high. With books, of course. :) Yep. Being surrounded with books gives me a natural high. Rest assured I'll never be caught dead in bookstores. Nweiz, saw this book entitled "Beautified" authored by Queer Eye for the Straight Guy's grooming guru himself, Kyan Douglas. Leafed through its pages and drooled over his "macho" pictures. ^_^

*Sigh* How can someone this gorgeous be so GAY?!

In other news, LRT Line 2 is now facing some safety issues about the stability of their foundations. It appears that the LRT-A management reduced costs by reducing the metal buried beneath the earth that supports the railway bridge. Instead of digging deep down into the bedrock, they only reached the clay area. Thus, compromising the safety of its passengers! Yikes. I'm one dead meat. I could imagine the bridge collapsing and the train crashing into Marikina River. Very reminiscent of Spiderman 2! Hmm, at least I'll be part of history. Yun nga lang, I'll be history as well.

U Got Game ?ro

I'm finally home from the UGG Pro event. Just like before, we were assigned at the ticket booth, selling entrance tickets for 50 pesos. Actually, almost everything's "just like before" - the organizers, the sponsors, even some of the cosplayers were familiar. It seems like the only thing that changed really was the venue. Compared to last year's PTTC, Greenbelt's Expo Exchange is much smaller and less accessible. We were able to collect Php 26,000+ from ticket sales. Not even half of last year's sales. Oh well. What do I care about the sales? We still received our allowances plus some goodies from Level-Up. That's all that matters. ^_^

More On Being A Moron

MOCK defense. That's what it is.

First of all, the word "mock" is pronounced as mok and not mak. There's no such thing as a Pinoy pronunciation of English words. You don't say ijot for idiot or kulchur for culture. Apparently, I'm a bit persnickety when it comes to the proper pronunciation of words. Thanks to Teacher Weng. :)

Another thing, lack of sleep gravely affects a person's physical and mental ability. When you have a nasty headache and this huge desire to just drop, you won't be able to do well and nonetheless, think well.

Now that I've presented my arguments, I think it's safe to say that my mistake for typing "McDefense" instead of "Mock Defense" can be blamed on:

(1) Sir Umoso's mispronunciation of "mock defense" as "mak defense"
(2) Sleep deprivation

Reasonable enough? Hehe! ^_^

Yel: "Anong McDefense?! Ano yun bagong meal sa McDo?! Uhm, pabili po ng value meal number 3... yung McDefense. HAHAHAHA!!!!"

Haaay, I should've just written it as "pre-defense". Hmp! >_<

More-On Me

Did some research with Yel at UP and Ateneo. At first I was unsure of what I had to look for. I was still torn between two thesis topics. But after considering the pros and cons of each, I finally came down with a decision.

"Stick with your first topic, you moron! You gotta submit chapters 1 to 3 tomorrow!"

Ethnic Jab

Got an email from her. It's no surprise, really. But I have no plans of hitting the reply button. Not today, at least. It's just that I don't wanna cloud my mind with unpleasant thoughts especially now that I'm working my ass off for our thesis.

Though I believe that it's better to settle everything face to face, our tight schedules won't allow us to. Neither of us is willing to MAKE time, I guess. Oh well. I'll just hit her back the moment I finish chapter 3.

Nothing's What It Seems

Checked my mailbox awhile ago and read this email from a friend. There are just a few things swimming in my head right now so I might as well catch it.

First off, mabait ako kung sa mabait. I know I have a great deal of tolerance but I am no saint. So stop dipping your toes to see how much more I can take. Coz God knows I can only take so much.

Second, "Don't do unto others what you don't want others to do unto you". It's as simple as that. And when you think of it, it pretty much applies to everything. So try to live by the golden rule. Be reminded that there is a thing called karma. And it'll come around and bite you on the ass just when you thought you've managed to avoid it.

Lastly, I don't give a toss on whoever reads my blog. Never will I edit my thoughts just because I'm now aware that certain souls frequent this site. Coz I maintain this not for anyone else but myself. So grab yourself a drink and read on for all I care.

Kick Ass, Dude!

As a new member of the South Park community, I solemnly pledge to:
-Stop Kenny's habit of dying by killing him for good.
-Teach Stan how to swallow his puke.
-Soap Cartman's filthy mouth.
-Leave Kyle, the petulant Jewish kid, alone.

But that would take away all the fun, wouldn't it?! ^_^

Nweiz, here's my version of Anakin Skywalker and Capt. Jack Sparrow...

South Park yourself here.

Of Hearts And Minds

Argh! I still can't come up with a decent abstract for my thesis proposals. Been sitting here in front of my PC for 5 hours now and I'm so tired and irritated! I'm not sure why I'm irritated, though. Well, maybe it's the weather. Maybe it's this homework. Or maybe I'm just annoyed at myself. I've been trying to shut out thoughts and emotions from what happened last night but I am miserably failing. Shit. I need to focus!!! The world won't stop for me even for a fraction of a second.

In my mind, I'm struggling.
In my heart, I'm struggling more.

Point Blank

Received a very unexpected phone call from the Disappearing Man himself. FINALLY. After more than a year of waiting, he finally had enough guts to talk to me about what REALLY happened, to tell me everything. As in EVERYfuckinTHING.

Throughout the conversation, jungle men beating their drums were inside my chest. I wasn't sure if I was ready to hear the entire truth from him. I wasn't sure if I WANTED to hear the truth from him at all. Well, not that I dunno what the truth is but hearing it directly from him, knowing his side of the story, diving into the details and all, is a different muscle all together. It's much…painful, to say the least. Every word that came out of his mouth had a fang that pierced my heart. And because I was bitter, I wanted him to feel the same pain. Maybe even twice or thrice as much. But I was afraid that though I might wound him, in the end, I'd be the one hurting more.

I realized that though I've long waited for this day, no amount of preparation would really prepare me for it coz when it finally happens, when words are finally spoken, it just hits me…where it hurts most. Point blank.

I dunno how these words managed to roll out of my tongue but I did wish him luck in pursuing his newfound love. Not sure if I meant it, though. Coz I can't deny the fact that I am envious. Right. Envious is the word. And I'm not afraid or even ashamed to admit it. Ugh. Then I shouldn't have said those words! Open mouth, insert foot.

~oo0oo~

I'm reminded of my favorite lines from the movie Closer...

Dan: "I fell in love with her, Alice."
Alice: "Oh, as if you had no choice? There's a moment, there's always a moment, 'I can do this, I can give into this, or I can resist it', and I don't know when your moment was, but I bet there was one."

Dan: "I love you."
Alice: "When? Show me! Where's the love? I can't see it. I can't touch it. I can't feel it. I can hear it. I can hear some words but I can't do anything with your easy words. Whatever you say, it's too late. It's done. Now please, go."

Dan: "You think love is simple. You think the heart is like a diagram."
Larry: "You've ever seen a human heart? It looks like a fist, wrapped in blood!"

Mr. Marber, you're a genius. Hands down.

"Di makapaniwalang matatapos na
Parang kay tagal nating nagdusa
Pusong di mapalagay
Parang habambuhay kitang hinintay"
--- Patlang, Cambio

The Disappearing Man

Here's an excerpt from the book entitled "He's Just Not That Into You" by Liz Tuccillo and Greg Behrendt:

"He disappeared. He just stopped. Out of the blue. You felt that whatever you had together warranted even the tiniest explanation. But instead, there's silence. No explanation, no goodbye. Just a vanishing. There's nothing worse. Nothing worse than that sick feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when it looks like the guy you were getting to know has decided to bail on you instead of talking to you about it. NOTHING WORSE."

And there's nothing I can do about it but to get closure all by myself. *Sigh* I always get so mushy whenever I talk to Jonna. But surprisingly, this time, I felt no pain. Not even a bit. Astig talaga si God.

This piece of advice goes out to YOU:
Never assume that things are ok.
Never ASSUME.
Never make an ASS of U and ME.

Solo Dios Basta

Just arrived home from YFC's 12th International Leader's Conference entitled Solo Dios Basta held at Subic Remy Field. Three days filled with beautiful testimonies, singing, dancing, and a whole lotta praising under the scorching heat of the sun. Heck, anything for His greater glory.

The things I've learned:
-I used to be liberal when it comes to homosexuality. I grew up in an environment where g2g relationships are abundant and accepted up to a certain extent. But one of the speakers changed my view regarding this issue. God created every person in His own image and likeness. He has carefully planned everything out from the day we were born down to our dying day. So there is no such thing as a woman trapped in a man's body or a man trapped in a woman's body because part of His perfect plan is our sexuality. Though I am against this kind of lifestyle, I fully understand that I am not in the position to judge those who are "in-between" for He alone will judge them as He will judge me and everyone else in this world.

-Every person has his or her own valley of shadows. There's this shadow of temptation, shadow of fear, shadow of insecurities, and the shadow of poverty. And the first step to get rid of these shadows is to acknowledge their existence. Then, ask for God's help as you struggle to defeat them before they get the better of you and eat you alive. I personally have my own shadows to speak of. Much to my embarrassment, I've been lurking in my own valley of shadows for years. Half of me has died already and I'm sure more of me will die soon if I don't take action. So with God's grace and guidance I decided that it's about time for me to get the hell out of this dark valley and allow His light to shine on my life.

-I dare to be 100% pure. No need for worldly things, no need to do drugs, no need to smoke, no need to drink, no need for pornography, no need to engage in premarital sex, no need to do all that to feed my hungry ego for God alone is enough. MORE than enough.

After the ILC, we stayed at the Subic Bay Yacht Club then we headed off to the beach by noon. Though I'm aware that the afternoon sun will never do wonders to my skin, I still opted to bask under it. For one reason: I wanna come home with darker looking skin. Think I succeeded? Think again.

"But everything means nothing
If I ain't got You"
--- If I Ain't Got You, Alicia Keys

iRock

BeGone Began

I downloaded and ran Spyware BeGone v.7 and found 203 spyware/adware infections and 11 spy cookies! A whole lot of dangerous junk, eh? Deleted them all and cleaned up my hard drive from unused applications hoping that my turtle of a computer would appreciate the effort and stop being so slow.

Early Mourning

I texted Opalyn earlier this morning to wish them a safe trip. But we ended up texting about him. I never thought my eyes could be that expressive. Coz no matter how much I try to erase every iota of pain from my system, it lingers still. Oh well. I was never an expert in picking up the right kind of mask and I guess I'll never be.

Our conversation scratched an open wound that still hasn't healed after all these years. And just when I thought I'm done crying...

Hey, get a hold of yourself. To dwell in the past is to die in the present.

How many times do I have to remind myself that?!

"I push my fingers into my eyes
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache
But it's made of all the things I have to take
Jesus, it never ends, it works its way inside"
--- Duality, Slipknot

Back From The Grave

It's been quite a while since my last post. Contrary to popular belief, I haven't fallen off the face of the planet. I just ran out of whatever that is that fuels me to blog. Which makes me think. "What is it exactly that fuels me?" Joy? Anger? Pain? Fear? Love? Emotions. All kinds of it. These emotions remind me that I am capable of feeling. That I'm human. And I keep this blog in order to express those feelings and keep myself sane. It has been my consolation from the numerous times I smiled when I should frown. When I stayed quiet and hurt myself in the process. When I heal myself and the wounds I have.

So, is it possible that I ran out of emotions? That I stopped feeling? That I was numb? Thus, making me a cold-blooded monster. ......... That's a scary thought. ......... Nah. I'm certain the emotions were there. Maybe the intensity just died down a little. Or maybe my need to blog went along with our phone and internet connection. Oh well. Phone line's back and I'm back living my own publicly private corner in cyberspace. I'm fueled by my emotions and I'm on full tank. So while I'm at it, I'mma let my fingers work.

:: A few days back ::

03.18.05
Mico graduated from the elementary level. After the ceremony, we gorged ourselves with pizza, pasta, and chicken at Pizza Hut. We then tightened some loose screws as we watched the animated film entitled Robots and unleashed the shopaholics within us after.

03.19.05
I failed to wake up early for the Computer Science Congress held at DLSU. I had to wake up at around 5:30am and meet up with Roxie at 7. Good Lord, I wasn't even alive during that time! Barely even human even at 9! >_<

03.22.05
Went to Mapúa to file my reactivation form but Sir Betco wasn't around. Kuya told me to go back after Holy Week.

03.28.05

And so I did. But still, Sir Betco was nowhere to be found. Roxie and I then headed to KFC where the others await. We took a bus going to Batangas and burned butts for hours. When we reached the place, I was a little disappointed. Though it offers a perfect view of Taal Volcano, the lake is somewhat polluted with algae. So we just rented a pool and decided to head off to Puerto Galera in the morning.

03.29.05

Another bus ride going to Batangas Pier. We left the port at around 11:45am and rode a motor boat going to White Beach Resort. I thought I'll be able to spot dolphins and whales in the ocean but there's none. So I just closed my eyes as the waves cradled me to sleep. When we arrived at the resort, we immediately looked for a room to rent. Found one for Php4,000 for 3 nights. That afternoon, they swam, they climbed and they crawled while Roxie, Jane, Potpot, Yel, and I wandered the sands. Then, we spent the night under the sky talking about whatever came to mind until it's time to hit the sheets.

03.30.05

Since the five of us weren't able to do some mountain climbing and cave crawling, they decided to do it again. I've always loved climbing. Be it a wall, a rock, a mountain or a tree. The rocks had a different formation though like some sort of explosion frozen in solid stone. Even felt its jagged edges cut through my skin. Plus our attempt to build a sand castle was futile due to the aggressive waves. But it was fun nonetheless.

Roxie and I left the island at around 12:45 in the afternoon. Half of me really wanted to stay but the other half is dragging me back home. I really couldn't help but think about the text message I received from my parents the day before. It's just that they're not likely to do that especially when I've already left the house not unless something is up. Roxie was likewise worried about her dad's reaction... or the lack thereof. Since she paid for my motor boat ride to and from the resort, I owe her 290 pesos. I was planning to get some rest during our bus ride but Roxie managed to keep me awake. We ate, talked, and laughed our way home. When we reached Cubao, we decided to drop by Gateway and steal some shots. I love its interior! Very classy.

When I got home, I asked my mom about the text message. It appears that my dad was involved in an accident and the other party had some minor injuries that he had to take care of. And the whole precinct thing was not a pretty sight for my mom. What it had to do with me, I dunno. Heck. At least, everything's fine now. Well, except for my skin that is burning red and crying out in pain. Summer na summer talaga!

Me: "Dumeretso nga kami ng Puerto Galera e."
Mom: "Ha? Akala ko Puerto Azul lang!"
Me: "Ngek! Hindi noh! Ang saya nga e, beach tapos white sand..."
Mom: "Sus, nakapunta na ko don e."
Me: "Ah, ganon ba?"
Mom: "Tagal na. Dalaga pa ko. May dinaanan pa nga kami na nudist camp don e tapos..."

Needless to say, she had more kwento than me. ^_^

Surreal Yet So Real

I've been dreaming a lot lately. Not just a dream or two but a whole lot of confusing dreams. There are faces I don't recognize, places I've never been to and a bunch of unrelated scenes sewn together that rarely makes any sense. It seems to be a cross between reality and a pseudo world painted with colors of my imagination. I wake up feeling something that isn't sleazy or sexual in any way but undeniably good. There are times when I totally forget what the dream is all about but the feeling seems to last like an eternal hangover from chugging two bottles of vodka. Well, not that I've been wasted with vodka but I guess that's how it is.

Riven

I was drawn into their world.

"Lose your questions and you will find your answers."

Return Of The Burglar Kings

This happened about a week ago. And just last night, those assholes pulled off their second attack. Damnit. I knew the locks won't suffice. They took almost everything. The TV, the sculptures, the gadgets... Argh! The thought that they had all the time and the freedom to ransack the house angers me. My uncle even found an empty bottle of Coke and empty bags of Nova. Talk about having a break.

According to Tita Virgie, the woman living next door heard strange noises during the wee hours of the morning but didn't lift a finger. What's up with that?! We're not expecting her to face the burglars head on. I mean, she could've at least called the cops.

The devil inside me wants to cut their fingers off with a rusty blade, pull their eyes out of their sockets with my thumb and beat them to an unrecognizable pulp. But because the good in me still reigns, all I want is to see them behind bars. And let the inmates do the beating... and the cutting.

As of now, we have no plans to break the news to Lola Soly. At least not today coz tomorrow is Lolo's birthday. When exactly, we still don't know.

God, if there is indeed a reason for everything, please help me see it.

"Somewhere in this darkness
There's a light that I can't find
Maybe it's too far away
Or maybe I'm just blind"
--- When I'm Gone, 3 Doors Down

Recluse Vampire

RECLUSE VAMPIRE. I am here to survive, to live day to day. I create pain to release pain and live in a tormented world of my own making, though I never wished it upon myself. One day, it will all end, and I can at last relinquish the pain and the hiding and all of the sorrow. But I try to go on. And so far, that seems to be the meaning in my life. To continue until I can no longer...

I thirst for love,
just as a vampire would thirst for blood.
I hide under a mask,
just as a vampire would hide behind the curtains
to protect itself from impending pain.
Recluse is a vampire who abhors his fate,
but is left with not a single choice.
So you say I'm a recluse vampire?
I guess you're right.
Kill the vampire!
Pierce him straight through his heart!
Wanna kill me?
Do the same.

Kainis. Not a single rhyme. I did my best, though. Nweiz, to those who had a BLAST this Valentine's day, figuratively and literally speaking, may God bless your hearts.

I Would If I Could

Last night, my dad accompanied my lola and my uncle to their house. Not that they're moving out from our humble abode. My lola just wanted to water the plants and get more clothes for my uncle. When they got there, the front door was open and the rest of the house was in complete chaos. Spelled out in bold letters, that is. Apparently, a thief broke in and took my uncle's DVD player and my lola's jewelries. They still dunno what other things were taken, though. But knowing their house, it must've been a pretty good catch to those burglars with my uncle's collection of expensive ornaments and gadgets. Well, good thing my lola took things lightly. They're going back later to install more locks. If I were as clever as Kevin, I could help them set up a trap like a bucket full of muriatic acid or something like that.

Magic Words

I was channel surfing a while ago when I came across Vic Sotto's movie "Si Malakas At Si Maganda" - the one that got me into trouble at a very young age. Vic Sotto plays the role of a man named Oyong who performs magical stunts by saying the magic words "ang na ang na su la ki sun su mas ki dot mo ko mo ko".

*A trip down memory lane*

I was in third grade then. I wrote these words in a paper and showed it to my seatmate. I didn't know what it meant, though. For me, it just sounded funny. I vaguely remember how it reached our adviser. All I remember is that she bent down, picked a crumpled paper off the floor, read it, then asked the class who wrote it. She looked mad so I had second thoughts about raising my hand. I really didn't understand where her anger was coming from coz for me 'twas just a joke. But thanks to my ever loyal seatmate for pinpointing me. The next thing I knew, I was missing my classes due to countless trips to the principal's office for the use of obscene language. My parents were also asked to go to the school several times. I could just imagine how embarrassed they were. My bad.

What's obscene about it? Go figure.

\m/ Speak

My brother and I argue about almost everything. Say, who gets to watch what channel, who eats the best part of bangus, who let the dogs out (?!), and whatnot. I remember when we were kids, we always try to kill each other. And I mean that literally. He used to punch me until I cringe and I used to choke him to death. There was even a time when he chased me around the house with a knife! Well, we WERE violent in a way. But that was then. Now, we're both old enough to know that words are far more lethal and that physical pain is nothing compared to it.

Enough of the segue. What I really want to say is that despite our failed attempts to get rid of one another and the countless heated arguments, there's one thing that makes us grateful for having each other. We share the same sentiments when it comes to matters of the heart. Maybe because we've been through the same shit. Sayang. He wasn't able to watch today's episode of Y Speak. He's now in a camping trip somewhere in Mt. Makiling. We could've watched it and cheered for that guy who's a firm believer of "NO SHARING".

The Room That Was

My mom always nags me to clean my room. I usually get away by telling her that I don't have the time coz I'm too busy with schoolwork. Which is well, partly true. Another reason is that I can't get my lazy ass to start cleaning. The mere sight of my figurines and stuffed toys collecting dust and the thought of washing them one by one are enough to make me weary. But now that I have all the time in the world, no excuse will be bought. So, armed with a walis-tambo, a couple of rags, and a pail of water, I carried out the task. A tedious one at that.

As I was taking down everything from the shelves, I can't help but start reading letters given by friends and classmates, and well, "special" persons. The oldest letter I read was like 8 years ago from my servicemate. There's this one letter that really, REALLY, caught my attention and stirred some emotions that have long been forgotten. I was in senior high then...

"... I have never been this foolish ever before. If you call writing senseless letters and making endless phonecalls foolish, then I guess I have become one, because of you. ... I'm afraid that you're going to tell me to leave you alone and I know in my heart that I don't have enough strength to do that. ... I have denied a thousand times that I don't love you but in reality, I really, really do. ... I cannot say what the future holds for us but I hope that you'll consider me in your plans and make me a part of your life."

I'm such a sucker for love letters. Mushy, I know. But words of love never fail to captivate me. Kumbaga kay Superman, this is my kryptonite. Ngak! >_<

Nweiz, my mom told me that I should get rid of things in my room like toys and old letters. I wanted to tell her that these are not toys but collectibles coz I don't play with them, like she would understand the difference, and that some were given by persons I'd rather not forget. I also wanted to tell her that there's no way that I'm going to throw away letters, be it a simple note or a noveletter coz each of them carry memories that I would love to cherish until I grow old. Yes, I'm sentimental that way. But instead of explaining these things to her, I just told her I don't want to.

Yay for me and my clean room! Well, almost-clean is actually more like it. The topmost shelf is still covered with dust. Blame my lazy ass.

Mind Games

The quest for the Holy Grail is finally over. I can't believe I finished it in 5 days. Well, I didn't have anything else to do, that's why.

Here are some of the most intriguing points discussed in the book:

Mona Lisa. Mona Lisa is neither male nor female. It is androgynous, meaning both male AND female. The name "Mona Lisa" is an anagram for the words AMON - the god of masculine fertility, and Isis - the goddess of feminine fertility, whose ancient pictogram was once called L'ISA. This is Da Vinci's little secret and is the reason behind Mona Lisa's smile.

The Pentacle. Contrary to the belief that this is a demonic symbol, it's true origin is actually quite godly. It is a pre-Christian symbol for beauty and perfection associated with the goddess Venus, which is the ultimate expression of the Divine Proportion used by pagans in relation to Nature Worship. The word "pagan" came from the Latin word "paganus" meaning country-dweller. Therefore, pagans are country folks who worship nature because of its Divine Proportion, the number PHI, 1.618, which is believed to be God's building block for the world. The "evil" notion only came from the Roman Catholic Church as part of their campaign to get rid of pagan religions and convert everyone to Christianity. The pentacle is only one of the many symbols altered by the Church. Other examples are the Poseidon's trident turned Devil's pitchfork and Crone's pointed hat that became the witch's symbol.

The Last Supper and The Holy Grail. According to legend, the Holy Grail is a chalice where Jesus drank from during the Last Supper. But its description as a chalice or cup is a metaphor to protect the true nature of the Holy Grail. It is not the Cup of Christ. In fact, it is not a cup at all. The Holy Grail is a WOMAN. And she can be seen in Da Vinci's painting of the Last Supper. Yep. There goes the 12 apostles, Jesus, and a woman seated beside Him. Who is she? Mary Magdalene. The prostitute? No siree. That misconception is part of the Church's campaign to defame Mary Magdalene and conceal her MARRIAGE to Jesus Christ. Being the wife, Jesus gave Mary Magdalene directions on how to establish His church that made Peter jealous. His jealousy was known to Da Vinci and is evident in his Last Supper painting where Peter can be seen leaning toward Mary Magdalene and slicing his blade-like hand across her neck. Furthermore, Mary Magdalene and Jesus were both of royal descent - Mary Magdalene was of the House of Benjamin and Jesus was of the House of David. The legend of the Holy Grail is about royal blood. It speaks of the "chalice that held the blood of Christ", which actually means "Mary Magdalene who held Jesus' royal bloodline." Therefore unveiling the greatest conspiracy in human history. Jesus Christ was not only a husband. He was also a FATHER.

The Bible. Originally, Rome's official religion was sun-worship (Invincible Sun) and Constantine the Great was its head. But centuries after Christ's crucifixion, His followers multiplied exponentially. Pagans and Christians began warring so Constantine decided to unify Rome under a single religion, which is Christianity. He did this by fusing pagan symbols, dates, and rituals with Christian traditions. One of which is the tradition of attending mass during Sundays, which is actually the pagan's veneration day of the sun - Sunday. In order to strengthen the "new" religion, its aspects were debated and voted upon. EVERY aspect including the divinity of Jesus. Before the establishment of Jesus as the "Son of God", His followers viewed Him as a great and powerful mortal prophet until Constantine "upgraded" His status. But because he did this centuries after Jesus' death, thousands of documents have already been written chronicling His life as a mortal man. So Constantine commissioned and financed a new Bible, which omitted the gospels that spoke of His human traits and embellished those that made Him godlike. Earlier gospels were gathered up and burned. Making the Bible a product of man and not of God.

No wonder devout Catholics find the book blasphemous. But on second thought, it really depends on how the reader is going to take the ideas presented by the author. Yes, it may have exposed the Church in a rather unpleasant manner because of its flawed religious structures. Yes, it may have tackled sensitive issues that could rattle one's faith. That is if one's faith is weak, I suppose. But never did it undermine the existence of The One. I believe it's important to have an extremely open mind before devouring on the author's words.

See images here.

Cracking Da Vinci's Code

I finally got myself a copy of Dan Brown's critically acclaimed and bestselling novel, The Da Vinci Code. Though the novel is wrapped in a purely fictional plot, it is also stuffed with loads of historical facts! I am about to discover the original meanings of ancient symbols, the unrevealed history of the Catholic Church, the reason behind Mona Lisa's smile, the hidden truths about the "Last Supper" painting, and above all... Leonardo Da Vinci's sexual preference. Yay! That, for me, is fun and learning rolled into one. ^_^

After reading the first 3 chapters of the book, I pictured either Tom Hanks or Russell Crowe playing the lead role (Robert Langdon) if ever there will be a screen adaptation. As I was surfing for the proper pronunciations of the words Louvre (loov), clef de voûte, and Sénéchaux... lo and behold! There IS a screen adaptation, which is actually slated to premiere on May 2006. And guess who's playing the lead? Tom Hanks.

Inadobong Adobe

Here's my Boyd and my pathetic endeavor with ImageReady...

"Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there..."

Here's a photo taken eons ago when we did an interview with NU107's graphics artist, Mark Torres. If my memory serves me right 'twas sometime in August 2003, which explains the old photo effect with jagged edges and all. ;) That ain't Mark on the photo, though. He is NU's disk jock and Pin-up Girls' frontman Mondo Castro! Isn't he gorgeous? ^_^

What better thing to do than cook Adobe?!

Battered Fly

I am one of those who believe that butterflies may harbor human spirits. Seldom do I buy these things but experts have given a logical explanation as to why butterflies are susceptible to these unseen forces. So, why not?

Three days ago, I was planning to blog about this butterfly fluttering around my room but I ended up procrastinating. Hell, that's one of the things I do best. :) Nweiz, strange how I wake up every morning to find the butterfly near my bed like it's been there the whole night watching me sleep. Oftentimes it would alight near the computer and keep me company as I do all my keyboard-tapping and mouse-clicking during the wee hours of the morning when nobody's awake but me. Weird as it is but I felt secured during those three days.

As I write this entry, the butterfly is still here in my room. Only this time, it is not flying around like it used to. It's laying on my desk now, motionless, devoid of the beauty it once possessed. Apparently, the electric fan sucked it in and sliced its delicate form into two. *Sigh* Now who's gonna watch over me as I drift to dreamland? Who's gonna keep me company when sleep doesn't come easy? Some unseen ghost, maybe. Uhm, please go find yourself a butterfly first. I prefer it that way.

Same Shit, Different Day

From my phone conversation with Yel:
Yel: "Anong ginagawa mo?"
Me: "Madami. Manood ng TV, mag-internet..."

*Sigh* That made me think about the way I'm spending my leave. How I'm wasting my time doing nothing worthwhile. How I wake up at 11:30 in the morning and live the entire day as a couch or mouse potato. How I build ties with my friends from Capeside, Springfield, and Bikini Bottom. I do help my mom with some chores, though. But still. I am an official bum.

Yel: "E di aralin mo na yung ASP..."

It's easier said than done. But I'll probably take his advice. PROBABLY being the operative word used. ^_^

Meet my friends...

Nweiz, just finished watching Oprah with the cast of Sex and the City as her guest. I'm not really a fan of the series but I enjoyed watching a couple of episodes.

Oprah: "With whom do you want Carrie to end up with?"
Sarah: "I want Carrie to end up with contentment."

Very well said, my dear.

Argh!!! I can't take my greasy fingers off the remote control!!!

Questions For The Bored

Directions. Pick a band/artist then answer using only titles of their songs.



Are you male or female: Bitch Please II
Describe yourself: The Way I Am
How do some people feel about you: Who Knew
Describe your past love: Never Enough
Describe your lovelife: Nail in the Coffin
Describe what you want: Superman
Describe how you live: Just Don't Give A Fuck
Describe how you love: 'Till I Collapse / Infinite
A few words of wisdom: Just Lose It / Say What You Say

~oo0oo~

:: BUHAY KOOLASA ::
1. Anong paborito mong bilhin sa canteen?
>> Caramela para pde kainin sa loob ng classroom. Chaka yung lengua tapos bibili ako ng choki-choki tapos gagawin ko shang palaman! Sarap!

2. Na-guidance/principal's office ka na ba?
>> Grade 3 pa lang na-principal's office na ako. Dahil dito: "ang na ang na su la ki sun su mas ki dot mo ko mo ko". Sabi ni Vic Sotto yun sa isa niyang movie e hindi ko alam na mei bastos pala na meaning yun. Tapos madaming beses akong na-principal's office at guidance nung 4th year. Lagi kasing nadadamay sa mga kaguluhan sa classroom. Take note: damay lang ako! ^_^

3. Sinong favorite teachers mo?
>> Si Ms. Jet, Ms. Diola, at Ms. Chiaoco

4. Sino naman ang hatest mo?
>> Si Ms. Motas. Di ko talaga makalimutan nung pinabuhat nya samin ni Kitkat yung upuan namin papunta sa likod tapos pina-upo niya kme don na nakaharap sa bulletin board.

5. Favorite teacher's quotable quote?
>> Teacher Weng: "Eat my foot!"
>> Mrs. Cuanang: "Go home and plant kamote!"

6. San ka tumatambay?
>> Kung saan naka-pwesto ang kada sa canteen, yun na din yung tambayan namin.

7. Most unforgettable experience?
>> Uhm, madami pa talaga akong naaalalang experience e. Hmm, isa siguro ung naging habit namin ni Jong na pagpunta sa chapel tuwing umaga tapos minsan kahit tapos na kami magdasal, nandon lang kme tinitignan kung pano magdasal ung iba. Tapos ung mga trip sa CR. Bsta, madami.

8. Varsity?
>> Wala. Ang natirang varsity sa school e volleyball lang. Puro pasa lang sa braso ang inaabot ko don e.

9. Sinong una mong nakilala sa highschool mo?
>> New person na wala sa gradeschool? Si Abby!!

10. Sinong mga unang barkada mo?
>> Ang naaalala ko na lang nung grade6. Sina Monica, Cristal, Natnat at Kristine. Aba'y akalain mo... si Roxie din pala! Hehe! Shempre pa!

11. Sinong mga kabarkada mo nung grumaduate ka ng HS?
>> Sina Jong, Jonah, Noemi, Abby, Alpha. Aba'y akalain mo ulit... si Roxie!

12. Sinong mga kabarkada mo from HS hanggang ngayon?
>> Silang lahat pa rin kabarkada ko. Si Roxie counted ulit sa college kada. Aba'y...

13. Nami-miss mo na ba uniform mo?
>> Minsan kapag hirap mag-decide kung anong isusuot sa school. Ginawa na nga naming costume nina Roxie at Aika sa defense namin sa RDBMS e. Hehe!

14. Most unforgettable person? Bakit?
>> Hindi kasama yung kada ko.. si Bianca siguro. Andami ko kasing naranasan nung nagkakilala kami. Doon ko naranasan na may mga parinig at vandals laban sakin. Keso ang kapal daw ng mukha ko para saktan yung kaibigan nila... at kung anu-ano pang kadramahan sa buhay. Pero buti naman e ok na kami ngayon. Natatawa na lang ako kapag naaalala ko.

15. I-describe ang mukha sa grad pic.
>> Don sa grad pic na provided ng school, lahat kami mga mukhang galing sa Mt. Pinatubo. Dahil ata sa make-up, mga boplaks kasi yung kinuha nila. Shempre pinalitan ko yun ng maganda! Hehe! Kamukha ko naman. Hindi mukhang galing Mt. Pinatubo.

16. Anong binibili mo sa labas tuwing uwian?
>> Bawal naman ang vendors sa labas e. Minsan lang McFlurry sa McDo S'mall.

17. Sino huling nakita mo sa batch?
>> Di kasama ung mga Mapuans... si Agnes sa LRT.

18. Sinong maganda sa batch nio?
>> Naku! Madaming maganda sa batch namin! Hehe!

19. Anong contest ang napanalunan mo?
>> As in ako lang? Wala. Kung buong klase madami, mga best in bulletin board at mga choral fest, dance interpretation ek-ek.

20. Anong masasabi mo sa sportsfest?
>> Nung first year mas maganda kasi by batch. Mas masaya itaguyod ang bandila ng buong batch. Kaso simula 2nd year.. naging by color. Halo-halo na lahat ng batch. Ok din naman pero mas masaya talaga kapag by batch.

21. Anong masasabi mo sa lovelife ng mga koolasa?
>> Uhm, siguro sa mga tao na hindi naranasan kung paano maging koolasa, mahihirapan silang intindihin na normal lang sa mga koolasa na magkaron ng crush na babae kahit hindi ka tibo. Pero yun nga, accdg. to Ms. Em, stage lang yun. Pagka-graduate ng St.Scho, graduate na din sa mga g2g relationships. Yun ang dapat!

22. Sino mga crush mo?
>> Sina Cherub, Inseng, at Carol! Wahaha!! Shempre nung HS pa yon... ;)

23. Ilan ang nanligaw sayo?
>> 5

24. May sinagot ka ba?
>> Promise ko kasi sa sarili ko na g-graduate ako ng St.Scho na hindi ako papasok sa isang g2g relationship. Tinupad ko yon.

25. O baka ikaw ang nanligaw?
>> Hindi ah!

26. Sino sa batch nio ang dapat na sumali sa SCQ?
>> Haha! Si Jaja at si Yang! Mga talentado e!

27. Ano mga naging sections mo?
>> St. Agnes, St. Martha, St. Lioba, St. Veronica

28. Anong club ang sinalihan mo?
>> ODESCI! Organization for the Development of Environmental and Scientific Interest

29. May silbi ka ba sa club niyo?
>> Shempre! Nung 3rd year ako yung secretary tapos nung 4th year naman treasurer. Taga-gawa din ako ng letterings sa bulletin board at taga-gawa at print ng certificates sa Cleanliness Drive! Mahilig din akong utusan ni Ms. Chiaoco at asar-asarin sa lovelife.

30. Sinong nami-miss mo?
>> Yung HS kada ko at ang buong Veronica.

Rain On Me

"Reality hits you when you least expect it." It hit me when I was at my most vulnerable.

Just finished talking to two of my friends over the phone. After so many months of suffering in silence, I was able to talk about all the anger and pain bottled up inside me. The tough girl facade is no longer up. The numbness began to wear off and I'm feeling it all now. I'm feeling it all.

I knew it right from the start. I knew that something's going on between them but I tried to brush it off. I blinded myself from the truth. I forced myself to believe that they won't do anything that will hurt me. They won't do anything that will crush me. Coz she's my friend. And friends don't do that to each other. But I was wrong. I was stabbed in the back and minced down to microscopic bits by the very person whom I trusted. And it fuckin' hurts.

To the girl:
I came across one of your letters way back in 2002. You said something about taking good care of true friendships coz they are rare and hard to find. Well, that's true. Sadly though, I wasn't able to find one in you. You also said your wishes for us and that you'll be happy to see us together. Bullshit. I can smell the burning sarcasm. Uhm, here's a glass of water to help you swallow your words.

To the guy:
You broke me in. In so many ways, you broke me in. How dare you feed me with all your bullshit about leaving due to family problems? How dare you talk about hating liars when you are a liar yourself? It was only last August that you gave me the true reason. If it wasn't for that email I've sent you, you could've deprived me of the explanation I deserved. How dare you do this to me? I swear to God, I loved you in the plainest meaning of these words that trying to define it is beyond me. When my parents and my lola judged you, I defended you. I forced you to drop by our house to prove them wrong. But I guess it turned out to be the other way around. They proved me wrong.

This realization extinguished the love that used to burn in my heart. I'm still hoping, for the longest time, that they will have the guts to talk to me about it, to tell everything straight to my face. Though I know that dissecting them and hearing the truth from their mouths will only torment me, I'm ready for that. I need that hammer to hit my head. What they did hurts. But trying to hide the truth from me hurts all the more.

This is final. I'm taking a leave from school. Not only due to financial reasons but I now have my personal reasons as well.

God, why does it always have to rain on me?

"Even though I know
I don’t wanna know
Yeah I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds"
--- One Thing, Finger Eleven

The Dreamer

My lolo died 2 years ago. Months before his death, I had a dream. I was at the living room while my lolo was seated at the dining area. He stood, walked a little, and then he dropped dead. I woke up crying. I never bothered to share this dream to anyone. I don't want to freak them out. Months after, my lolo died of cardiac arrest while taking his breakfast at their dining table.

Three nights ago, I had another dream. I was seated on the floor with my uncle while my lola was seated on the sofa. Beside her was my lolo. I was the only one who can see his ghost but we were all aware of his presence. He was asking me a lot of questions. That's it. No deaths involved. I dunno what it meant. So when my lola's blood pressure went up that she almost lost her consciousness, I totally freaked out. Another death in the family would be too much for me to handle. When I think about it, the dream could be my lolo's way of telling me that he'll be taking my lola with him soon. Or it could also mean that there's no need for us to worry too much coz he's always watching over her. I hope it's the latter. I wanna believe it's the latter.

Twenty Oh! Five

We normally celebrate the New Year at The Fort. But this year, no matter how much we want to, the situation dictates otherwise. We can't just leave Lola at home and celebrate someplace else. I just hate Smart for hosting the concert at The Fort this year. Sana last year na lang. Sayang.

Well, it's 2005 now. Everyone's a year older, and they're getting older still! This is my last year as a teenager. Now there's a scary thought. Nweiz, a happy brand-spanking new year to all!

Remembering 2004

The last few months of 2004 have been depressing for my family. Due to uncontrollable events, we've been struggling financially. My lola was confined in the hospital twice. Right now, she's undergoing two different therapies. She's also taking a lot of medications amounting to a thousand pesos. Weekly? No siree. It's daily. That, plus the different household bills, daily expenses, my tuition fee (which is still unsettled), my brothers' tuition fees, and other payables? Talk about scraping the bottom of the barrel. Being the *ehem* responsible first born, my concerns suddenly started to be about the moolah. When will papa pay for the tuition? When can we go to the grocery coz I'm sick of corned beef? Are we gonna have our cable disconnected? What about our phone line?

It ain't that bad, though. I mean, we still have a house that we own and don't need to pay for, we have a car, we still enjoy our cable connection, and they all have their mobile phones. Well, all except for me. But I'm fine with that. What the devil has taken, God will replace in His own time. Oh well. It's not like we're destitute and I really hope we never be. However, I can't help but worry.

Nweiz, a few hours to go and it's a new year for all of us. I hope it will be better than the last one.

Maybe So, Maybe Not

A lot of psychics have begun offering their predictions for the year 2005. They say that "there will be three coup attempts," "our economy wouldn't be any better", "the year of the rooster would mean isang-kahig-isang-tuka" and other such ominous sayings. I find this whole business of prediction weird. I believe that the future is what we make of it, regardless of cosmic invisible hands, which may or may not change our fate. I think it's about time for people to become less fatalistic and to assume more responsibility for their actions.

Rest In Peace

My Aunt just died of breast cancer. After 5 years of fighting it, her body finally gave in. It's a painful death for all of us. How cruel of Him to take Tita away in this time of the year. But I know she's happy now. She's now in a place free from pain and sufferings - a better place... with Him.

Tita, thank you for taking good care of us. Thank you for calling just to check if we're ok. Thank you for the memories, which will be forever etched in my mind. We'll never forget you. May you find peace.

Goodbye.

You've Got Mail

I miss receiving mails. And I don't mean mail as in email coz I receive an awful lot of email everyday. Often those which have been forwarded so many times that the forwarded-to lists are longer than the messages themselves. Heck, I don't even read them. They should all just expect an instant trip to my garbage bin.

Nweiz, I'm talking about mail as in snail mail. Yep. I miss receiving those. The last time I received one was way back in 2nd year highschool. 'Twas from a friend who migrated to US. Now, it seems like the only snail mail I get is my magazine subscription. Oh well. I would love to receive mail. And send mail too. The kind where I have to lick a stamp and stick it on an envelope and write an address other than cuteako@yahoo.com. La lang. I guess this is just one of the simple things that make me happy.

Wanna make me happy? Snail mail me.

Happy Birthday Jesus

Went out to visit some of our relatives today. 'Twas fun. But I'm no longer a kid so I'm exempted from receiving aguinaldo. Or should I say, aquino.

Tito Beng's condo was, as usual, a major jawdropper. He even hired an interior designer to do the decorations. He spent like 50k just to have that Christmas feel in his condo. A spendthrift, indeed. Tito Bert and Tita Epi celebrated their silver wedding anniversary. Ate Shirley brought the video coverage of their wedding. Funny how their video looked like an episode from Misadventures of Maverick and Ariel. No shit!

Dino headed to Eastwood for his kada's christmas party. I think it's his 3rd christmas party already. Just a thought. I'm not that religious, but I find it kinda disturbing that most of us seem to forget that we are celebrating a birthday party today. And it's not just anyone's birthday, it's Jesus Christ's. We seem to be forgetting that in these materialistic times. I bet He ain't happy having His birthday being used as some excuse for partying excess. Here's a little question: Isn't He invited to His own party?!

Oh well. Merry christmas everyone! Happy birthday Jesus!

Whattametalmouth

Today is the day that I chose to live.

Yep! My third attempt to present the project went just fine. Thank you Lord. With my CPU and my good ol' keyboard with me, nothing could possibly go wrong. Hehe! :)

I arrived at around 9:45am. Went to the faculty room to look for Ma'am Moja but she wasn't around. Checked out the laboratories but she wasn't there either. I waited 'til 10. Then, I waited some more. 'Twas already 10:30. I told my dad that I doubt if my professor will arrive. Being late is not in her vocabulary. My dad told me that she'll ask Fel (dean's secretary) for the contact number of my professor. Good thing he knows her personally. Let the connections work! :) I thought to myself, "Ma'am, you are messing with the wrong student." *evil grin* My dad told me that Fel texted Ma'am Moja. According to her reply, she'll arrive at around 12pm. Balak ata talaga akong injanin non e.

Nweiz, she did arrive before 12. She was smiling and all. What's up with that? "Hell, whattametalmouth!", I thought. She told me to bring my CPU at the faculty room. After I've proven that the program is indeed working...

Me: "Ayan po, nagw-work naman talaga diba?"
Ma'am Moja: "Oo na. Pano ba yan?"
Me: "2-Player game sha. Tig-isa kayo ng shift key. Tapos pabilisin lang makapunta don sa finish line, yung color blue. Yung pindot sa shift, paulit-ulit dapat."
Ma'am Moja: "Palaro nga. Haha! Pampasira ata 'to ng keyboard e!"
Me: "Napaka-challenging nga e! Ayun, ok naman. Ano ma'am ok na po ba ako?"
Ma'am Moja: "Hocge, congratulations! Pasado ka na!"

Yipee!!! I passed! Excuse me, I neglected to use my all-powerful caps lock key. I meant to say, I PASSED! I've been praying really hard for this since Wednesday. Thank you Lord for answering my prayers. I remember just last night, when I was starting to lose hope, I prayed the most difficult prayer - "Thy will be done". I kept on repeating it until I fell asleep. I dunno. It's just that I no longer wanna do things my way. I wanna just let go and leave everything in His hands. If failing one of my subjects is part of His plan, if He wanted to teach me a lesson, if this will make me a better person, then so be it. Thy will be done. But I guess, it ain't part of His plan afterall. GOD, THANK YOU.

Now, I'm starting to feel the spirit of Christmas. I can now feel the nip of cold air bite through my skin. ^_^

One Last Chance

Today is the day that I chose to die.

Argh!!! Sure, I brought my CPU with me and I did arrive at the school on time. The problem was, the keyboards in school were not compatible with my CPU. And no, I did not bring my good ol' keyboard with me. HOLY FUCKIN' SHIT. Can you say stupid?! There was one keyboard found at the library though. But no matter what I say or do, rules are rules and they had no plans of breaking any. No CPU, monitor, keyboard or mouse can be brought out of the library. RUCK FULES.

Going home to get mine will also be pointless. According to Rupa, the MRT broke down. There's no way I'm going to be back at school by 12 if I travel by land. I asked my dad to go to the condo of Tito Beng to borrow his keyboard. Unfortunately, he wasn't there. Tough luck.

When the clock striked 12, Ma'am Moja headed out. Fast. I begged for a last chance but she simply ignored me. Biatch! My time is up, and I blew it. My dad approached Ma'am Moja and explained to her the problem I encountered, blahblahblah. He did kiss her ass too! Funny how he told her how young she looks and how he thought that she was just one of my classmates. I dunno if that was a good thing or not. But hell, it worked! Ma'am Moja allowed me to present it again tomorrow, same time. Abusado ako noh? Sobra!

Yes. I'm desperate. I am so not failing my laboratory class. And I want my Christmas to be happy. Now I'm hoping against hope that she didn't just do that to shut me up. I'm crossing my fingers for that.

Second Chance

*Sigh* The program I'm supposed to defend didn't run properly at the laboratory. At first, Ma'am Moja told me that I'll pass the course despite my failure to present the project. But earlier this evening, she told me the words that will haunt me for the rest of my college days: "Ay, mali pala yung computation ko sayo kanina. Bagsak ka pala sa lab." ...I was taken aback. I couldn't even muster a reply. To say "heaven came crashing down on me" is an understatement. It was worse than that.

When I finally regained my strength...

Me: "Ma'am, gumagana naman 'to sa bahay e. Dito lang talaga mei error kahit dalhin ko na lang yung PC ko tomorrow."
Ma'am Moja: "Hindi pwede. Ngayon ang deadline niyan. E ba't yung sa iba ok naman?"
Me: "Di ko din po alam. Ma'am, cge na po. Hindi ko talaga 'to pwede ibagsak. Ginagawa ko naman lahat e. Cge na po, payag na po kayo bukas. Promise, gumagana talaga 'to."

Our conversation went on and on like a broken record. I continuously pleaded for another chance, while she remained firm with her decision. After an hour of "pangungulit" and a lot of ass-kissing, she finally gave in. She gave me until 10:00am tomorrow to present the project. Thank God. Now I have to make sure that the program really does work on my CPU. The clock is ticking and I'm feeling the pressure.

Jawdropper

Today's the first day of my finals. I only need to get through my SOCSCI513 exam and my CSWALP011L defense tomorrow then I'll be footlose and stress-free for the rest of the month. Freedom, I can almost smell thee. :)

Nweiz, my uncle bought a new desktop PC. A 3 Ghz, with 512 MB DDRAM, 160 GB disk space, 128 MB Video Memory, complete with a DVD/CD writer, a 9-in-1 digital media drive, and a TV-port, HP Pavilion T698d.

Excuse me while I pick my jaw off the floor.

I'm really happy that my lola and my uncle are now living here with us. Not just because of the gadgets and the PC, of course. :)

OTI - Techweek 2004

Last Thursday, we started our organization's event called OTI-Techweek 2004. It's a 3-day event of seminars, workshops, exhibits, contests, etc. I was the OIC in one of the seminars, which made the past few days so fucked-up. I'm not in the mood to write so I won't be elaborating on it. Ma'am Christie, read this: Actions driven by guilt are rendered half-hearted. True, ain't it?

Generally speaking, the Techweek was a success. We managed to pull everything off despite the problems, pressures, stress, and everything in between. Kudos to everyone!

Habitat For Humanity

Our organization volunteered to help construct houses in one of the communities being established by Habitat for Humanity in Las Piñas City. I woke up at around 4:30 in the morning. I'm one scaredy cat so I opened the TV but the first thing that I saw on the screen was a white lady!!! Yikes!!! I immediately turned the TV off and ran back to bed! It awakened every sleepy bone in my body! Now THAT is a whole lot better than coffee.

Nweiz, Roxie and I reached our meeting place 5 minutes late. Not bad, eh? I think we left school 45 minutes later. Filipino time nga naman. Oh well. Almost half of the applicants attended. Our adviser, Ma'am Nenita, was also with us. She slept most of the time, though. Ehe. But that's just fine. At least, she was there! Unlike Sir Jayson who's just a bunch of brawns and... more brawns.

After Engineer-whose-name-I've-forgotten oriented us with what we had to do, 'twas up to us to divide the work among ourselves. Our players removed the wood from the first few houses and transfered it to the next, the guys shoveled gravel and sand, while the girls strained the sand used for the bricks. The toughest that we did was when we carried hollow blocks and buckets of cement. Now my arms and upper back hurt like hell. I feel like a ninety-year-old. Heck. I'm all exhausted but I definitely enjoyed it. ^_^

Another One Ties The Knot

I dunno why I find it so difficult to decide on how to begin with this entry. I'm a little short with words. Oh well. I guess I'll just start with this:

Kuya Neil: "I, Neil Mendoza, do take Shirley Santos as my lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part."
Ate Shirley: "I, Shirley Santos, do take Neil Mendoza as my lawful wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part."

Aww. It has always been my favorite part of weddings - the exchange of vows. I admire people who can utter words of commitment. I admire people who are ready to face forever. I may be wrong, but I guess most of us are ready to face love but are not ready to face forever. Coz forever is such a scary thought. There is always this fear of marrying the wrong person. And I'm happy for my cousin coz she was able to conquer that fear. Just a thought: How am I to know if he's "the one"? What if he's just pretending to be "the one"?

Nweiz, saw this on the net. I'm posting it for future use. Hehe! ^_^

???: "Kringle, I give you this rose. Because it grew from a tiny seed, becoming stronger and larger until it burst into flower, it symbolizes the way my love for you has grown. Each year on our wedding anniversary, I will give you another rose. In so doing, I'll remember this day and renew the vows we've made."
Me: "???, I give to you this vase of water. Because water is the one element without which we would perish, it symbolizes the importance of your love in my life. Each year on our anniversary, I will refill this vase, offering it to you as a symbol of my ever renewing love."
???: "Without water, the rose would die."
Me: "Without the rose, the vase of water would not be beautiful."
???: "My gift is enhanced by yours, just as my life is enhanced by you."
Me: "My gift is lovely because of yours, just as my life is better because of you."

Hmm, sweet.

Collecionez

Just arrived home from G4. I'm supposed to buy a pair of silver sandals for tomorrow's wedding but I emerged out of the mall empty handed. I'm not really that choosy. I guess there's just too many to choose from. Oh well. I'm off to the mall again tomorrow morning. Let the quest continue...

FUCKFUCKFUCK. I almost flew off the handle when I saw my Matrix Reloaded OST on the floor with the CD scratched. The culprit: one of my brothers. How many times do I have to tell them to handle my CDs with care? Is that too much to ask?! I screamed at their faces until I saw beads of blood oozing out of their ears. I kicked them soo hard, it made their heads spin. Punched them even harder, they spitted blood and teeth. What an atrocity. But nah. None of that happened. Since no one would take the blame anyway, doing all that would be an awful waste of time and energy. So there. I just closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and asked God to take the anger away. And I thank Him for doing that. It ain't easy. But it sure is better than causing harm to my brothers. Hmm... I think it should be my new mantra.

I just wanna say that I value my audio and video CD collection so much that it has become a part of me. So when I lend you a CD, I'm entrusting you a part of me, expecting you to return it in good condition, in one piece. When you break it, you break a part of me. When you lose it, I lose a part of me as well.

Speaking of CDs, I'm currently listening to Sugarfree's latest album "Dramachine". Love their music! I think it's funny how their music is sweet but... sugar free! I urge people to support the local music industry! Please buy original pinoy albums that deserve recognition.

"Kung kelan pa nawalan ng ilaw
Saka pa lahat naging malinaw
Baka ako ang may kasalanan
Kung bakit tayo may tampuhang
Hindi na pwedeng pag-usapan"
--- Kandila, Sugarfree

My Gulay

Last Sunday (Oct 31), my Lola was discharged from the hospital. She stayed here with my uncle. We were all glad that she was able to recover pretty fast. But little did we know that the gladness that we felt was short-lived. She had her 2nd mild stroke last Saturday (Nov 6). I went to the hospital to visit my Lola this morning. It absolutely breaks my heart to see her in that condition. I felt like crying. But I didn't. I wanted to be strong... for her.

Sir Basco kept on bugging me about my mistake. I felt like digging my own grave. It turned out that the reservation I made for the CPU and LCD wasn't confirmed so all of his classes weren't able to use it. Hell, I asked the librarian if we already have the slot and she said yes! Why is there a need to confirm it the next day?! My gulay.

I'm A Buff

"Some people don't even need a gun to hurt you. They use words or laughter. They enjoy watching you bleed to death. They get off watching you fighting back the tears, getting a lump at your throat, blushing, wanting to cry. And they give you a name. Trash can. Pizza face. Loser. Faggot. Loser. Weirdo. Spaz. Retard. Y'know the name does something to you. It changes who you are. It alters some of your molecules. And one day, you wake up and you look in the mirror and you don't recognize you anymore because... you believe them. Then when you lose, you wanna cry, "please leave me alone", but nobody's listening. Because nobody cares, because you don't have a name anymore, because they took it away. And then one day, I say that name and you hear something go snap. You realize what you gotta do. You gotta take back your name. And you gotta do it infront of the whole school because that's where they took your name away from you. You gotta do it to every kid will remember. This is about justice. And after a while, you can only think of one way. Jonesboro. Springfield. Paducah. Columbine. A gun. A bomb. Instant justice. Ba-bang! What a rush when they roll out that yellow tape. Miles and miles of yellow tape. They won't have enough when I'm finished. So when these hallways are flooded with rivers of blood, when these hallways are choked with their corpses and body bags, you will all say, "Oh what a tragedy." What. A. Tragedy. "

~Trevor Adams

Morbid, eh? These words were taken from the movie Bang Bang You're Dead - one of my favorite movies. I think everyone should watch it. Makes you think twice about pushing people around. I remember when I was in 1st grade, one of my classmates started to bully me when I refused to lend give her my troll. But the roles have changed when she joined Little Miss Philippines and lost. *evil grin* Nweiz, back to the movie. Caught it first on Cinemax and now I have it on video so I can watch it whenever I feel like it. It's actually inspired by a stage play with the same title and the Columbine massacre. I even downloaded a copy of the play's script from this site. I want to produce it in the future. Yep. I'm a buff.

Also, I bought a copy of Dawson's Creek 2nd season (Episodes 201 and 213). Sweet. I'm still looking for other volumes. I want to own a complete copy of DC's first season up to its season finale. Yep. I'm a buff.

Demon Slayer

From my phone conversation with Roxie:
Roxie: "Ganon talaga, may mga bagay na left unsaid."
Me: "Yun nga, pero hindi dapat ganon!"
Roxie: "Kasi mahirap makalimot kapag may mga hindi malinaw?"
Me: "Mismo!"

I know that true healing requires being able to look at my demons straight in the eye. If I wanted to slay those demons, I had to face them. The question is: When will I have the courage?

The Fear Inside

This morning (6:10 am), my mom's voice woke me up. She was panicking. Her hands were shaking. My uncle called and told her that my Lola was having some difficulties in breathing. My parents went to their place and brought her to the hospital. I dunno if they did or an ambulance did. During that time, I was embraced with fear. There was nothing I could do but pray. I was begging God to save her, to keep her safe, to keep her alive. I fell asleep and woke up at around 10 o'clock. When I found out that my parents aren't home yet, my fear grew stronger. I wondered what's taking them so long. My imagination started to work. Morbid thoughts were slowly creeping in. After several minutes, my parents arrived. I quickly went inside the bathroom and started to take a bath. I was too scared to know what happened. I was just there trying to listen if my mom was crying. Coz if she was, I would know that the worst occurred. Thank God, she's not. When I finished taking a bath, I asked them what happened. They told me that Lola had a mild stroke and that she's fine now. But she needs to be confined in the hospital for about 3-4 days. Lord, thank you.

This reminds me. A couple of days ago, my dad almost got into an accident. He fell asleep while driving. I dunno much about the details but that's what happened. Now, we're all worried about my dad hitting the road alone. He told us that he was just too tired and sleepy and that was just the first time it happened to him. But if it happened once, it could happen again. Heaven forbid.

I don't fear death. I don't fear my own death. What I fear is the death of the persons close to my heart.

9Teen It Is

Happy birthday to me! So, how does it feel? *shrugs* Feels like 19. Ugh. But hell. It's not as if we cross a major barrier each time we grow a year older. Nweiz, this is so far the quietest birthday celebration I had. I mean, there were no parties thrown, no relatives/friends coming over, no nothing. We just had our dinner at Somethin' Fishy. The food was ok. The tuna belly and sinigang na hipon were to die for. I'd definitely kill just to have a platter of it! After dinner, we watched a band perform at OJ's. They were good. They did Alanis Morissette, Norah Jones, Bachelor Girl, etc. Then, we're off.

Thanks to everyone who bothered to greet me on my birthday. Whether it's an SMS, phone call, email, or in person. I really really appreciate it. Kuya Paul, thanks for the magazines and the Lee sticker campaign. Haha! I thought you're gonna raise hell. Ate Chelsea, thanks for the 8 Mile movie poster. Ra-el, thanks for the Snickers! To the person who called me and sang "Grow Old With You", that's really sweet. Uhm, do you come with a name? Please make yourself known. It's less creepy that way. Mico, thanks for buying me that Bamboo album. Uncle Arnel, thanks for the moolah. Mom and dad, thanks for the dinner, the chocolate mousse cake and the ice cream, and thanks for staying together despite everything. Lastly, thank you God for the gift of life and for giving me all these people in my life.

My favorite birthday greeting:
"Kringz, hapi bday! My bday wish 4u is dis: I hope dat dis wil b THE year wen u wil b complete. U knw wat I mean. LuvYouLuvYou! ü" --Ejay

ABET Not

Org officers had a meeting with the dean this morning. 'Twas about ABET (Accreditation Board for Engineering and Technology). If ever Mapúa will be accredited, we'll be the first in the Philippines and the second in South East Asia. Ha! With the criteria presented by the dean, I doubt. Oh well. We all better cross our fingers for that. Our toes, even.

I had a deal with Roxie that I have to settle things with Kyle tonight. I've already taken the first few baby steps last Monday but I don't think it worked. I dunno if he's that insensitive or if he just wasn't able to understand what I'm trying to imply. Nweiz, I broke it to him gently. Not the in-your-face kind of thing. I was really struggling for words. I think I saw some waterworks, though. And that made me feel bad. Please. I don't deserve your tears. And don't put me on a pedestal. I might hit you when I come crashing down. I'm sorry. I really am.

Eminem Turns 32

Happy Birthday, Marshall.

Dear Slim,
I saw the video of your new single "Just Lose It" yesterday. You're one helluva crazy man! The shit about Michael Jackson was hysterical! With the nose falling off, the kids dancing around the bed, swaggering a bottle of "Jesus Juice". I bet you're not making a fan out of MJ. But hell. I, for one, don't give a shit about what Jacko thinks. He's a sicko. The whole world knows it. At first, I thought you were also playing Paris Hilton. But she played herself. Oh well.

Rumor has it that you'll be out of the spotlight soon. That you'll just stay behind the scenes, producing and writing. Is it true? Is it why your album is called "Encore"? But you said you'll never stop rapping! You said it was in your blood! Well, if "Encore" would mean anything, I hope it's just the end of the "Eminem Show" and the start of something new. I really hope this ain't your last. Can't wait for it to hit the shelves, though!

Truly yours, your biggest fan.
This is Stan Kringle. ^_^

Down To Ten

Wow. I can't believe I'll be turning 19 ten days from now. Yikes! I remember thinking just a couple of years ago that 19 was, well, ancient. You know, being the last "teen" year of my life. I also remember telling myself that by 19, I should've found my soulmate. Holy crap. Oh well. I can be twenteen next year, then 21-teen the following year... yadda-yadda. And ancient or not, I'd still love some *ehem* presents. ^_^

Something from my inbox:

HAHAHA! I think I deserve something like that after being so nasty yesterday!

Mean-y Me

Ugh. This sucks. I'm once again crowned mucus queen. The skin between my upper lip and my nose has turned red and my chest hurts from coughing. Can't hardly breathe. I downed 2 glasses of calamansi juice and consumed several wads of tissue paper. And I guess I've been pretty mean to several people around me.

Because I really wanted to go home...

Victim # 1: Kyle
Kyle: "Pde pasabay umuwi?"
Me: "Hocge."
Kyle: "..."
Me: "Ang galing, hiwalay na yung babae sa lalaki."
Kyle: "Honga, parang LRT."
Me: "Ang luwang naman sa harapan kaso puro babae lang"
Kyle: "..."
Me: "Ikaw kasi e! Di tuloy ako makasakay sa harap!"
Kyle: "Pasensha..."
Me: "Uhm, pde mauna na ko? Gusto ko na talaga makauwi."
Kyle: "Ganon ba? Cge, next time na lang."

...and rest...

Victim # 2: Mico
Mico: "Ate Kringle, paturo sa Math."
Me: "Ano ba? Yan lang di mo pa maintindihan?!"
Mico: "You can't be a teacher coz you're a bad teacher."
Me: "Don't worry coz I'm not planning to be one."

I'm mean. And I know it.

Unrequited Love

Am sick. I don't wanna be sick today. Not tomorrow, or any day. I need to attend my CSWALP013 coz we'll be having our first quiz on Wednesday. I need to attend my COMPLR013 coz I don't wanna miss any discussion especially for the lab. I need to attend my SOCSCI513 coz I want to be exempted from our finals. See? I need to attend all my classes! And I hate the fact that I won't be able to! Woke up earlier this morning and felt my throat burning. It hurts when I swallow. It still hurts when I don't. Got the mercury column kissing the 38-degree mark. Argh! Sickness really loves me. And I hate it. Can it please go away? Now?

My Rules, My Style

I survived my 4.5 hours of vacant. Although barely. I was constantly whining about wanting to go home and stocking up on zzz's. For the first few hours, I was with Bryan, Vernon and Jack. I think that would be the case for the whole term. Then from 12-1:30, JC kept me company. When he left for his class, I thought I'll be doomed. To solitude, that is. Without enough moolah to catch a flick, no book to read, no nothing. All I did was to think of a good project proposal for SOCSCI513. Good thing Jane and Kenneth arrived quite early. ^_^

I didn't submit the proposal. Sir Yuzon discussed about conducting a research for our project. He suggested a lot of topics that we could work on. I guess the photo exhibit thing wouldn't be good enough for him. So I trashed the proposal. With the thought of doing the project on my own. Ha! I joined Mark's group. And we're off to an orphanage in QC next this Sunday!

After the class, Roxie and Jane told me that my Dad is at the lobby. I was glad. Super. Libre pamasahe e! I hope all his meetings will be held in Makati. Hehe! Nweiz, we dropped by Shopwise along Libis to buy Frenchie's French Fries. Saw this book by James Todd Smith, better known as LL Cool J, entitled "I Make My Own Rules" - parental advisory edition. They're selling it for 45 pesos. It's not in my books-to-buy list, though. But those books don't fit my budget for the week. So I settled for this. I have no idea of what it has to offer. Haven't read any reviews. I dunno if he's an effective writer. I hope Ladies Love Cool J wouldn't be Lousy Literature Crap Junk after I read the book. Ngak! Fanget. Heck. At least I have him to keep me company for the next 4.5 hours of vacants.

Hmm, I realized I always write "really" and "heck" on my blog. Oh well. HECK. ^_^

GK777 Concert

Just arrived from the GK777 concert held at The Fort. GK stands for Gawad Kalinga and GK777 expresses its vision of building 700,000 homes in 7,000 communities in 7 years. It's actually in its 2nd year and hundreds of communites have already been established. They say, "No more slums. No more violence. No more poverty." I say, "Amen." ^_^

Some of the artists who performed and chose to give their talent fees to GK were The Apo Hiking Society, Kuh Ledesma, Martin Nievera, Gary Valenciano and Bamboo. That's really generous of them. I love Bamboo more than ever now!

I definitely enjoyed Gary V's rendition of Freddie Aguilar's "Anak". He was singing, dancing, and acting all at the same time! Right. Mr. Pure Energy, living up to his name. When Bamboo conquered the stage, the crowd went wild! And so did I when I saw Ira Cruz and when they played their first song - "Mr. Clay". They also played some Rivermaya classics such as "Elesi", "Ulan", "Himala", "Kung Ayaw Mo, Huwag Mo", "Awit Ng Kabataan" and other songs that I dunno of. I thought they're gonna end the show with "Noypi" since it goes with the concert's theme: "Bawat Pilipino Bayani". But after "Noypi", they performed another song called "Masaya". Tapos, tapos na.

"All by myself, I know that I stand here alone
All your lies they feed me
I'm stronger now, stronger now than I was before
There's no way you can hurt me
Move me, stop me"
--- Mr. Clay, Bamboo