Thirst Day

I'm as tired as a horse that ran around the world in 80 days!

Had my panel interview at Tsukiden this morning. I was scheduled at 10:15 and I arrived just a minute earlier. There were some VIP guests so I wasn't interviewed immediately. Which is actually a good thing coz they gave me about an hour to cool down. Ehe.

The interview went fairly well, I guess. Save for the technical questions that caught me off guard. Very simple questions that I should've known the answers to. Grr. My memory has failed me once again. Bleh.

After the interview, I met this guy named Zaldy. He told me how nice it is to work at Tsukiden, the structure of the company, his trips to Japan, etc. I think he's been with the company for 5(?!) years now. After we ate our lunch, I stayed at Powerbooks to kill some time. They were on sale again! Saw a copy of The Sandman Vol. 2 : The Doll's House by Neil Gaiman for 99 pesos! I was about to pay for it when I noticed that some of the pages were torn. Nyeh.

I then headed to Makati for my exam at Accenture. I'm not that familiar with Legazpi Village so I asked my dad for directions. When I got off at Paseo de Roxas, I met this girl named Nenita (or Teresita). She's from Leyte (or Cavite). Hehe! Basta some place far from Manila! She, too, was headed to Libran House and had no idea where it was. "At least if we get lost, we get lost together!" Ehe.

After asking around and walking a couple of blocks, we finally reached the building. We arrived 30 minutes before the scheduled exam. I filled-out an application form and had some small talk with Nenita/Teresita about her current employer.

Nweiz, the exam ran for 2.5 hours. There was a glitch with the system so we took a pen-and-paper exam instead of a computer-based exam. I really dunno how I faired though and I'd rather not get my hopes up.

When I got out of the building, 'twas already dark and a light drizzle was falling. I wasn't able to bring my umbrella with me so I guess... ACHOO! *sniff* There. I have sniffles again. Ugh.

Oh well. My name's written all over my bed now. Goodnight!

Feed Me Right

I thought I had it all figured out. But these people made me think otherwise.

Just arrived from Adam's baptism. Quite a typical name, eh? Wait till I give you his full name. Aceyork Amsterdam "Adam" S. Mendoza! Ehe. Nweiz, Adam is Ate Shirley's first born. He's really really cute and oh soo adorable! so I'll post his picture here soon! ^_^

During the reception, my aunts and uncles talked to me about looking for a company with high-starting salaries, that I should take advantage of the "bling-bling", that opportunities will knock and that I shouldn't settle for less.

Their expectations are so high, it's frightening.

Am I wrong in saying this?
Am I missing out on something far more important?

Well, maybe they were right. Maybe I had it all wrong. That it's not just about doing what I like to do. That work entails sacrifice and it doesn't have to be fun. That I should be practical. That I failed to consider other factors like job security and financial stability.

Then again, maybe they were the ones who failed to consider the most important of all - ME.

Wishful Thinking

"Oh no there you go
Looked away and missed the show
How much wasted time
Will you survive?"
--- Wishful Thinking, Duncan Sheik

Gone For Gold

Mico: "Ate Kringle, mei nag-text sayo! Parang di totoo! Bagong scam ata!"

"Elo po. Congrats! Gold medalist k po. Twag k daw po s regstrar nxt wik (tue-wed) para s invitation ng parents mo sa bacc mass. Ok? Reply pg nrcv mo. -fac, gc pres."

Yippee!!! Hahaha!!! I'm so soo sooo super happy!!! My face hurts coz I couldn't stop smiling!!! My parents will be proud as hell!!! Hehe!!!

Now I realize that taking a leave wasn't a bad move! Not at all! Coz everything has a purpose! God has a purpose! And now I see the goodness in this and this!

Thank God!!!

Designed to Design

I called off my interview at Antico Manila this morning. Had a change of heart because of the YM conversation I had with Mike last night. But I still pushed through with my interview at Tsukiden. Ms. Melody told me to prepare for the panel interview any time next week coz they might ask me some technical questions.

Ugh. The more I take these technical exams and interviews in programming, the more I realize that I'm really not cut out for it.

No, I don't see myself as a hardcore programmer 5 years from now. No, I don't want to lead a group of design engineer trainees in the future. And there's nothing, NOTHING, to love about programming.

Sure, I can program. But it's not what I wanna do. It's not what I wanna be. I don't wanna get a job just for the sake of having a job, of earning some moolah. I don't wanna dread waking up on a Monday morning. I don't wanna drag myself to work everyday. I may sound too idealistic, and unrealistic, and impractical, and naive. Maybe it's because I am.

I want a job that I love!!!

Whatever happened to this??? And this???

I already know which way to go. I already know what my dream is. I already know where my passion is. But why the hell am I not pursuing it?!

Fucking shoot me!

Welcome To The Jungle

After a month of bumming around and taking a much needed rest, I moved my bakasyonista butt off and started looking for a job.

I took an exam at Antico Manila this morning. I wasn't expecting anything, really, coz I left a couple of questions blank (blame it on the hexadecimals!) and I wasn't able to finish the problem solving part. Actually, I really had a hard time with that part of the exam.

*Q: If you bought 5 apples, 3 oranges, and 8 bananas for $5.99, and then bought 3 apples, 4 oranges, and 2 bananas for $3.99, how much does 1 apple, 1 orange, and 1 banana cost?

A: Uhm, I dunno. And frankly, I don't care.

Hehe! Of course that wasn't the answer I wrote. I just left some of those items blank. Well, not exactly blank blank. Just blank with nothing useful on it. I just copied the given and wrote an equation that led to nothing. Nyaha.

Mom: "Kamusta exam?"
Me: "Ok lang."
Mom: "Anong 'ok lang'?"
Me: "Di ko alam e..."
Mom: "Tumawag dito, pumasa ka na daw."
Me: "Di nga?!"
Mom: "Oo nga."
Me: "Weh??"
Mom: "Ayaw maniwala..."

As Ralph Wiggum would say, "That's unpossible!" Ehe, so I truly passed the exam. Ms. Lara scheduled me for an interview tomorrow at 10am. But I also have an exam with Tsukiden at 8:30am so I asked her if it's possible to reset it on Thursday. And Thursday it is.

*not the actual question

Everything Wrestling

I've been feeling incredibly off lately but I couldn't quite put a finger on why. So when my brother asked me to do a couple of ads, without thinking twice, I sat in front of my PC hoping that it would somehow clear my mind from all the stress and drama that took place days ago. After an hour or so...

...done. And now I'm back in the ring, wrestling with myself again.

A Hero's Fall

Little girls look up to their fathers like heroes. They treat them with utmost love and respect. Some even vow to marry men resembling their fathers.

I used to be that little girl.

Now I look at my dad and I come to realize that my childhood hero has fallen, defeated by his own self. I look at him and I find myself praying that I wouldn't end up with someone like him. I still love and respect him, though. But I'm afraid that it's starting to wither. Slowly. Like a dying rose, one petal at a time.

My mom is hurting so bad because of what my dad had done and is still doing. Many, many little things that may seem insignificant when taken individually but when summed up, can suggest that something's not quite right.

"I don't just think it. I know it coz I feel it.", she said.

And I believe her.

I wanted to hug her and tell her that I love her. That no matter what my dad says and does, she'll always have us, her kids. That if she wants to take some time away from him, I will understand. That I might even go with her. There were so many things that I wanted to tell her but the only words that came out of my mouth were: "Hayaan mo sha."

I'm sorry, mom. I wanna take away your pain but I dunno how.

Take Trust

----_-----: hello
spit_shine20: halo! :D
----_-----: ummh.. wat gawa mo?
spit_shine20: check lng ng mail..
----_-----: honestly... d ako si ******* gf niya ako gamit ko lng ym nya
----_-----: ummh...
spit_shine20: ahh.. hello!
----_-----: hi..............
----_-----: wala kc me magawa gamit ko ym niya.................
spit_shine20: hehe..
----_-----: wat name mo?
spit_shine20: kringle
----_-----: ah ok....
----_-----: gurl k b?
spit_shine20: yep
----_-----: skul mo??
spit_shine20: sa mapua.. pero grad na ko..
----_-----: ohhh.. pano m sya nakilala??..
spit_shine20: ka-org ko xa e..
----_-----: oic.. gtg n po ako
----_-----: tnx sa tym po..:)
spit_shine20: ok cge.. :D
----_-----: take care..
spit_shine20: take trust. ;)

I don't think she was able to read the last line, though. She logged off before I could hit the enter key. Grabe ha. For a second, I felt like a criminal under interrogation. What the hell was she doing with her boyfriend's YM account?! Tsktsk. Trust your boo, girl.

When God Speaks

These past few days, I was in a bit of a quandary. I had an awful lot of questions that needed answers. I felt lost and confused that I needed someone or something to guide me in the right direction. But it wasn't fate that showed me the way, like I thought it would. My faith did.

God spoke to me at church today through our Pastor's preaching.

"What is your dream?"

"What is it that you're passionate about?"

"What is it that God placed in your heart?"

"What is that one thing that you're willing to do even if you're not gonna be paid? That might give you a clue."

It sure did, God. It sure did.

Praise You.

2006 Kicks In

Good thing that most of our neighbors have grown wiser in ushering 2006. Instead of firing firecrackers that could cost them their fingers or eyes, noisy paper trumpets and loud music filled the air. And there's a lot less of that nauseating gunpowder smell. Thank God.

2006 is a year of change for me. This year, I'm about to enter the jungle that is the corporate world. I'm about to embark into a journey where everything is possible yet nothing is certain. I'm now standing on the brink of my future, preparing to take a leap from my comfort zone into a world of the unknown...

Welcome, 2006!

Honestly, I'm not ready for you. Are you ready for me?