Cigarette Burns

It's times like these that I find myself wishing I never met you. That I never became friends with you. That I never became more.

We started out as friends, really good friends. We had each other to lighten our burdens. We carry half of each other's load. Your problem becomes my problem and vice versa.

Me: "Sayo ung numbers 1-10, akin ung 11-20."

Hehe! Well, that's not exactly what I meant, though it did happen once or twice. ;) Actually, 'twas more of uhm, sharing problems regarding our families, our friends, and our lives at large. There's no denying that what we had was something special. But you were with someone then so we both decided to just keep the friendship. I didn't know that you were arguing with her a lot because of it, because of us. Not until I received an email from her.

" ... TANGINA MO! MAAYOS NA KME E! BKT MO B KME GINUGULO? ... PLS. LANG TIGILAN MO NA KME! TANGINA MO TALAGA! ..."

After that incident, with just a snap of a finger, we stopped communicating. Just like that. Then we saw each other at Gateway three years after. 'Twas one of those awkward meetings that we felt like there's a lot to talk about but we both didn't know where to begin. You were with her pa.

Girl: "WAW!!! Kringle!!! Ang saya ko nakita ka namin!!!"

Her words were burning with sarcasm. She wanted me away. And it doesn't take a Promil kid to figure that one out.

Me: "Hocge, una na ko. Mei hinahabol pa kc ako e."

But the world seemed so small for the three of us. We saw each other again at LRT Santolan station. But this time, I ignored you on purpose. Not because I was mad but because I felt that 'twas the right thing to do. I really didn't want to but I had to. We walked past each other like we're not even friends. I felt happy for a moment thinking that I did the right thing. But you know what? Deep down inside, I ached.

Back To Square One

After almost 5 years of use, my PC just gave up on me. That's 800+ MP3 files, 12 music videos, 600+ fonts, 500+ Eminem photos, down the drain. ARGH!!! How I wish I could call a plumber on this one. :(

It's A Yehey! Birthday

Actually, not quite.

I started the day reading birthday greetings from my friends, cousins, and a couple of unexpected persons. Then my parents woke up and greeted me as well.

Papa: "O, bakit matamlay ang celebrant?!"
Me: "First day ko kaya sa OJT ngayon."
Papa: "E di wag ka muna pumasok!"
Me: "Ngak! Di pwede noh. Nakakahiya."

The thought of being surrounded with people who have no idea that I'm celebrating a special day today is just sad. But I don't wanna miss my first day of OJT with the company so I found myself dragging my feet out of the house a quarter before 8. Contrary to what I expected, Junction wasn't that congested and I was able to ride an FX right away.

And I thought I was lucky.

Wrong!

Coz an MMDA officer suddenly appeared out of nowhere!

FX driver: "Naku boss, paxenxa na. Hindi ko talaga alam e. 8 months na kc ako di buma-biyahe e. Paxenxa na talaga."
MMDA: "Hindi kc pdeng ganon e. Hindi alam, hindi nakita, laging mei rason. Paxenxa na lang din kau."

After 15 minutes, the MMDA officer finally allowed us to go.

And I thought it was over.

Wrong again!

We were about to enter Ortigas Center when the engine died. The driver would crank up the engine, have it running again but it would only last for 7 seconds! I swear! I counted! Grabe. It took me forever to reach Podium! And it rained pa! *Sigh* The Gods really ganged up on me this day. Happy birthday talaga sakin! >_< Peach: "Carlo Aquino, willing magpakita ng pwet?!"
John: "What?!?! Parang sinabi mo na ring magb-bold ang Going Bulilit!!!"

WAHAHAHAHA!!!!

When I got home, dinner was set and they were just waiting for me. My mom cooked spaghetti, chicken, waknatoy, rellenong bangus, and baked tahong. For dessert, I had a strawberry cheesecake topped with vanilla ice cream topped with chunks of Snickers topped with chocolate syrup! Now it feels like my stomach is starting to crawl its way up my gullet!

Grabe. I'm now 20 years old! That's two decades of living and of taking up space in this overpopulated world! I really am no longer a teen! Oh well. My eyes are closing on me now. Must go to sleep. -_-

Centennial Rock

Just got home from St. Scho-Manila's "Centennial Rock" - a rockin' celebration of St. Scholastica's 100 years! There were eight bands lined-up to play for the event. First on stage was a band composed of koolasas, followed by a band named Protein Shake. After their Dance club set the stage on fire, Hiraya took the stage to cool it off a little. Ala's a lot prettier and skinnier in person but she seemed kinda shy onstage, which is unlikely of her with all the fame that she has being an ex-VJ-slash-commercial-model. She could've at least started their set with "Happy 100 years St. Scho!!!" or something like that to connect with her audience. No wonder the crowd wasn't that into their performance. They have great songs though and Ala has a nice singing voice so I'm still gonna vote for them in NU's Rock Awards for "In the Raw".

As the night wore on, Nerveline played just before the crowd-favorite, pogi-rock-band (no pun intended), Sponge Cola rocked the stage. The moment Yael took hold of the mic, the crowd went wild! Think hundreds of crazy fan girls screaming their heads off, going nuts over the guys, singing "KLSP", "Gemini" and "Jeepney" word for word like it's a friggin' videoke session and consequently drowning Yael's voice. In one word: GRABE. But I must say, he is really one helluva hot guy!


Next on stage was Imago. I really REALLY enjoyed watching Aia perform. Especially when they did "Anino". Ang likot-likot-likot niya sa stage! And I just discovered that she's a koolasa! "Happy 100 years sa atin!!!" Astig. When she started singing "Taning", I couldn't help but notice these koolasa lovebirds in front of me who were hugging each other a little tighter. Why? "Tama bang aminin na nating may taning itong pag-ibig natin? Dakila man walang kasaysayang kakapit sa bulag na pag-ibig..." That's why. ^_^

6cyclemind began their set with "You and Me" by Lifehouse. If not for Ney's voice, I would think that the band had a new vocalist on board coz he sure had lost a lot of weight. Well, that is compared to the last time I've seen him, which was uhm... two years ago? Nweiz, they also performed two of their original songs - "Biglaan" and "Sige". I'm not a big fan of the band but I must say that most of their songs, especially "Biglaan", hit close to home. Coz when you... ugh. Never mind. I'm gonna spare you the drama.

Last to hit the stage was Dicta License. Since I'm only familiar with the song "Ang Ating Araw", I didn't really enjoy their set. Actually, I felt like I was the only one who didn't enjoy their set coz everyone else seemed so hyped up. I dunno. Perhaps I was just too exhausted to appreciate their music, let alone Poch's high-pitched voice.

As I was preparing myself to go home, I saw my Reading teacher in 3rd grade, Ms. Aquino. I was a little hesitant at first but when I was reminded of my last visit at St. Scho, when I wanted to see my former teachers but didn't, I immediately dropped every bit of hesitance and decided to strike up a conversation.

Me: "Ma'am, dito na po pala kau nagtuturo. Naging student nio po ko dati sa Marikina..."
Ms. Aquino: "Kaya pala you look familiar! Buti naman naalala mo pa ko."
Me: "Ehe, xempre naman po."
Ms. Aquino: "What year kita naging student?"
Me: "Super tagal na.. grade 3 or 4 pa ata ako. Super tagal na talaga."
Ms. Aquino: "Honga, those were my first years in teaching pa! Tanda ko na!"
Me: "Ehe, di nga po kau nagbago e!"
Ms. Aquino: "Wow, thank you! Sige nga, anong subject ang tinuro ko non?"
Me: "Uhm..."
Ms. Aquino: "Naku, nakalimutan na!"
Me: "E bsta English subject xa.."
Ms. Aquino: "Ayun.. Reading and Language!"
Me: "Tama, yun nga yun!"
Ms. Aquino: "So san ka na ngayon?"

Except for some visible strands of white hair, she looked exactly the same as before. As if 10 years haven't made that big of a difference on her. I wonder what her secret is. Uhm, stay single? Oh well. 'Twas such a nice way to end a kick ass night! \m/

"Nauubos din ang luha
Natutuyo at nawawala
Naglalaho rin pala"
--- KLSP, Sponge Cola

OJT Hunt Over

We were scheduled for an interview this morning at YEHEY! Corporation for our OJT applications. Actually, 'twas more of an orientation than it is an interview. Ms. Elaine and Ms. Kankan were the ones who did most of the talking. According to them, we're gonna work on the new YEHEY! channel called Gadgets (which is yet to be launched), update the movie guide, and do flash banners. They have various events lined up for October and November so we're also gonna do some field work. No allowance for us, though. Except if we're on field. Bleh. >_<

Nweiz, with or without an allowance, what's important is that we now have a company for our OJT and we could start accomplishing the requirements needed for the course.

And I say "Yehey!" to that! ^_^

Ohana Means Family

I think it's funny how cartoons can stick a knife in my gut without me realizing that I'm bleeding all over the place.

Lilo: "Ohana means family. Family means no one gets left behind. But if you want to leave, you can. I'll remember you, though. I remember everyone that leaves."

Today is the third time that I've watched Lilo and Stitch but this painfully beautiful line delivered by Lilo while Stitch is walking away from her has never failed to put an ugly lump in my throat. And I need not say why.

Old Photographs

I was helping my brother out on his autobiography presentation when we started looking through stacks and stacks of old photographs. Picked out some of my favorite shots and made a collage out of it. Lookie!

OJT Hunt II

Yel and Ruiza submitted our résumés at Citibank and People Support in Makati. I'm supposed to meet them at Megamall by 10am to continue our OJT hunt in Ortigas. But before heading to Megamall, I had to drop by Landbank to deposit my payment for Sophie's World. I thought I'll be done in 15 minutes but my estimation turned out to be a little far-fetched. I made them wait for more than an hour. Shame on me. >_<

Nweiz, we submitted our résumés at Yehey.com, IWBCorp, and iGen Portal. And just a couple of hours later, we received a text message from iGen Portal asking us to drop by their office tomorrow at 10am for an interview. Yel called the company and found out that they don't provide trainees with allowance. Argh! I think we should start considering other companies regardless of whether they give out some moolah or not. Coz this whole search for an allowance-providing company is getting us nowhere. But then again, when I start thinking about Christmas...

Jumpstart Thy Morning

I hate it when my mom nags about nothing but our problems. And in the morning to boot! It's such an awful way to jumpstart our morning. It makes us all so depressed and cheesed off.

I understand that we should face the problem. But what I don't understand is why we have to be enslaved by it. Why we have to worry about it every waking moment of our lives. Why can't we just smile and recognize the value of what we have? Like hey, we're all together and complete and thank God we're all in good health. I mean, isn't that more important? For once, I wanna spend a day with my parents without hearing any complaints coz it's really getting on my nerves and it does zilch for us anyway. Just once. Please. It's not running away. Just asking for a break. That's all. A break.

Bugoy King

You may have enjoyed playing king or queen over this creepy chicken.

DANCE!!!	CARTWHEELS!!!
PLAY DEAD!!!	STRIP OFF!!!

Now challenge Lord Vader as he reads your mind with his Sith sense.

"This is a battle of wits, and clearly you are unarmed."

Lucky Me

Got a call from MTV asking me to drop by their office on Friday to claim my Gwen Stefani "Love Angel Music Baby" CD. Hmm, I think I'mma push my luck a little further and hand them my résumé as well.

OJT Hunt

Ramnel and I went to GXS and Megaworld to submit our résumés for our OJT application. Then, he accompanied me at Level-Up where I had my first interview right after I've submitted my résumé.

I'm really crossing my fingers for an OJT with GXS mainly because they provide trainees with Php200 daily allowance and because it is located inside the classiness of the RCBC Building.

I'm having second thoughts with Level-Up because of the arrangement that Ma'am Christine told me. According to her, OJT slots for the IT Department are already filled up but she can put me in the Accounting Department or the Logistics Department and the certification would still indicate that I was with the IT Department. Not bad for Php100 but not really ok since it would defeat the purpose of having an OJT.

Though I'm not sure if I'll earn some moolah with Megaworld, the good thing about the company aside from its SVP being my dad's friend and the certification-even-without-attendance offer, which I am likely to decline, is that it's just a stone's throw away from school. As Ramnel puts it, "Konting unat lang nasa Mapúa ka na."

Oh well. For now, I just have to wait for the first company that will give me a ring.

Third World War

My parents told me not to mention anything about it to my uncle. I really tried not to. But I failed.

Tito Arnel: "Not that I'm eavesdropping or something. Na-overhear ko yung conversation niyo e. I want you to be straight with me."

Did I have a choice? He said he already heard everything so what's left to hide? Damn. With the look on his face, I bet I've just driven him around the bend. This is, undoubtedly, the beginning of the third world war. So deadly that it would wipe out half of the islands in the Pacific, plus a forth of the planet uninhabitable. And here I am, caught in the middle.

I think I should pack my bags and move to Timbuktu.

Waves Of Nostalgia

I accompanied my mom at St. Scho this morning to submit her proposal letter. Waves of nostalgia washed over me as I walked through the halls of my old school, the same halls that saw me grow up for 8 years. Long forgotten incidents resurfaced and phantoms of youthful escapades leaped out from behind every shrub on campus. I caught a glimpse of the playground and recalled the afternoons spent at the swing with my servicemates waiting for our service to arrive. When I turned to my left, I saw the grass area where I got myself injured for kicking the ball a little too hard. Then, there's the chapel where I said my morning prayers with Jong. The clinic that nursed me and gave me an awful lot of ammonia when I fainted. Then I saw my classroom when I was in my senior year and I felt my insides tighten a little for it produced a lot of powerful memories. Oh well. Too bad I wasn't able to see any of my former teachers. I was planning to say my thank you's sana.

Did I mention that I was in and out of the campus in less than 5 minutes? Just imagine what could've happened if I stayed a little longer.

Books 4 Less

Thanks to Ebay I now have the following titles on my shelf:

• Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil by John Berendt
• The Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger
• The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
• The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks
• The Rule of Four by Ian Caldwell and Dustin Thomason
• Bridget Jones's Diary by Helen Fielding

'P' Is For...

Went to myMapúa to view my grade in our thesis. Instead of seeing a number, I saw this instead: 'P'. Since 'twas my first encounter with the "P grade", I had no idea of its real meaning. One possible meaning is that we 'PASSED' our thesis subject. Or it could also mean that our grade is still 'PENDING' since 'twas only this morning that we submitted all the requirements. I checked on my curriculum and found out that the status of my CSTHES213 subject is "Not Taken". HOLY COW. I immediately asked Ramnel to call or text me his username and password to see if it's the same for him. Not hearing from Ramnel, I called Roxie and asked her if she knows his log-in info. Failing both attempts to access his account, I went online and asked Eli his grade. He said that his is 'C', which means 'COMPLETION'. Then, he told me that the others who already passed also received a grade of 'P'. Hai salamat. I thought we 'PAILED'.

Pity Me? Pity You.

So. I heard you feel sorry for me. And why is that?
Coz I'm living a miserable life?
Am I?
Coz the only person I loved left me for another?
Is that it?
Coz you think that I am such a loser?
Do you really think so?

For your information, I'M DOING JUST FINE. Never better, actually. No thanks to your "honest-to-goodness" act of sympathy. Yes, I WAS sad and I WAS in pain. But I was NEVER miserable. Afterall, my world doesn't revolve on his ass or any other man's ass. I myself am complete. I don't need another person to fill me in. I don't throw myself to other people just to gain "admirers". And if you think that I AM the loser, think again.

Tsktsk. Go on. Feed your hungry ego until it consumes you.

And don't pity me. Pity yourself.

So Long And Goodnight

Just because I've been seeing and hearing a lot of Helena lately...

"And what's the worst you take
From every heart you break
And like the blade you stain
Well I've been holding on tonight"
--- Helena, My Chemical Romance

Life After Death

Last Wednesday, Tita Roan and her husband went to the bank to withdraw some cash. Their daughter Erika was with them. Not far from the bank, four armed men in motorcycles got in their way and announced a stickup. They gave them the money for hopes that they would spare them the bullets. But these men were indeed heartless. After they got hold of the money, a barrage of bullets soared through the air. Tita's Roan's husband was shot in the legs. Their 2-year-old daughter, in the head.

I dunno what exactly is my relationship with Erika. All I know is that she is a distant relative. But still. The pain and the loss was felt. *Sigh* She was just too young to die.

But as they say, when people die, new people are born to take their place.

Yesterday, a new life was born. My cousin, Ate Shirley, gave birth to a bouncing baby boy! Heard that the doctors and nurses are still scrambling around trying to catch him. Congratulations! ^_^

---

This candle, I light for Erika. May God bless and grant eternal repose to her soul.

Thesis The Moment

Before heading to school, I dropped by Robinson's and bought solo pizzas for our panelists and adviser. 'Twas raining really hard so commuting with 5 boxes of pizza, 5 bottles of C2, 4 framed certificates, and a poster, while in business attire, was a real pickle. Too bad my dad wasn't around to drive me to school. Bleh.

We had our defense scheduled at 1:30 and I arrived at exactly 1:13pm. There were still a couple of groups before us so we had to wait for our turn until 3 o'clock. My dream team of panelists got disbanded. Ma'am Barral was nowhere to be found and Sir Jayson had a defense scheduled for his class. Sir Joel told us that he'll take the place of Ma'am Barral and we just have to look for one more panelist. We went to the faculty room but the only faculty member there was Ma'am Abisado. After what she did last term?! HELL NO. Sir Isip told Ramnel to talk to Ma'am Angel instead. And being the angel that she is, sans the halo and the wings, she willingly gave us an hour of her time.

So here's the new line-up:
1. Sir Niño Virtusio (forward)
2. Sir Joel de Goma (guard)
3. Ma'am Angel Montales (center)

Still a dream team, eh? Well, to cut the long story short, our defense went just fine. After a little questioning, they just gave us some minor additions, and that's it. No need for oil and onions! ^_^