Two Years And Counting

Two years na pala kami! ...ng blog ko! Hehe. ^_^

Happy 2nd year anniversary! I can't believe it's been 2 years since we started this beautiful relationship and I'd like to think that in those years, I've matured in more ways than one. You've challenged me to articulate my thoughts into words, to express myself without fear of judgement, to keep things real and just be me. And I thank you for that. Thank you for giving me this chance to do what I love doing, a chance to share a bit of my personal world where people can either cry with me, laugh with me, or even laugh at me. Honestly, there were times when I wanted out of this relationship, when I felt like you remind me of things I'd rather forget. But then I ask myself, "Do I really want to forget?" Two years and 174 entries later, guess what? We're still together. And I promise that I'll hold on to this relationship, as long as I'm able.

Welcome Party 2006

It has become a company tradition to welcome the newly hires with a party they would never forget. Ever. What makes it so unforgettable? Try performing in front of a hundred watchful eyes, waiting for you to do something stupid, so they can all have a good laugh at your sorry expense. That's what. But it's all in good fun, of course.



Out of the 5 groups that performed, we landed third. Not bad for barely a week of preparation, eh? I really dunno how we bagged the third place coz I thought we just made a mess out of ourselves. Oh well. That's 2,500 pesos worth of crap, baby! Ano, ha?! Ehe. Kudos to us! ^_^

My First Cup of Java

Having gone through the VGS orientation, more or less, I now have an idea of what the project is all about. I don't think the orientation is enough to pull me through this project unscathed, though. Unlike the numerous lectures and trainings we had when we were with NGN that somehow geared us up for the project, there's no assurance that we'll have the same kind of preparation with VGS. Their schedule is so tight that there isn't much time to squeeze in an in depth discussion of the project. Which is quite scary, actually. I dunno if I could survive diving headfirst into this whole VGS thing without any kind of training to begin with. I dunno if I could soak everything up in a matter of days. I dunno if I could easily cope with such a sudden change. I dunno exactly how I, a Java ignoramus, could be of help. Hai...

So this is my first cup. Cheers!

NGN Then, VGS Now

We had a meeting with Boss Fojet a while ago. He told us that the VGS project requested for additional manpower and that the five of us, including Ma'am Mitos, were selected to transfer. I must admit that I'm having mixed emotions about this whole re-shuffling thing, for several different reasons.

I am sad coz I don't wanna be separated from my friends, from people who I already know. Yet a gentle smile remains pasted in my face coz it's not that bad, really. I mean, it's not that I'll be transferred to a different Business Unit naman e.

I am a bit apprehensive coz I know zilch about VGS. Well, aside from the fact that it stands for VoIP Gateway Simulator. Yet I am excited as well at the prospect of learning something new, a new language for that matter.

Now what really bothers me is that I am not an overtime person. I always wanna have enough time to rest, to relax and to unwind after all the hustles and bustles of work. I don't wanna stay late at night sitting in front of a computer, working my butt off when I should be doing something far more... essential. Like dozing off, for example. Hehe. Some of my colleagues are telling me that I should get used to going home (very) late at night or worse, (very) early in the morning. Ugh, I cringe at the very thought of it. Sure, the upside is that I'd receive a heftier paycheck. But still.

However, as I stood infront of our boss, I had to suppress other misgivings and do my very best to adapt to the idea that THIS can be fun. Right? Rrrriiiight.

Silver Toes

While some people are born with silver spoons in their mouths, there are also some who are born with silver toes on their feet. I use the term "silver toes" in the same context with that in the song by Parokya Ni Edgar. Meaning someone with an exceedingly high self esteem. Someone who is conceited, and self-absorbed, and egocentric, and vain, and insensitive, and Shift+F7 the rest. Someone like... YOU.

Yeah, you. You are obsessed with yourself. You overrate your importance in the grand scheme of things. You think all men are drooling over you. You treat people like shit. You drop words like bombs, not caring about who gets hurt in the explosion. You think the whole world revolves around you. Well, I'm so sorry coz it doesn't. You, fuck.

What's nice about egotists like you though is that you don't talk about other people. You don't spread rumors about other people. Coz you only talk about yourself. Nothing more, nothing less, nothing else. But one can only listen to a broken record so many times. Sooner or later, your friends will get tired of hearing the same old tune and you'll be left with no audience to speak of. Don't say I didn't warn you.

You gotta get over yourself and realize that out there, there are people. People who are breathing with emotions and feelings. People who also have a piece they wanna share. But with you talking big and loud all the time, I doubt if you even notice that. Why not try to turn your voice down a little? Listen. Hear the voices around you. Hear me.

Kill Bill-Bill

April and I were on our way to Megamall to do our groceries. I was talking to her inside the elevator when this man butts in.

WAHAHA!!! Take that you filthy-mouthed, fat-ass bastard!!! Take that!!!

Hehe. Of course the last frame didn't happen coz I didn't have a bazooka on hand. Well, not that I would really kill him had I packed one. Uhhh.. wait. How do I pack a bazooka?? Oh well.

Actually, I really don't mind when friends tell me that I'm gaining weight and that my arms are getting "bouncy" coz I know naman that I really am now a bunch of flabs. It's just that I didn't expect it coming from a complete stranger. That's super rude, right? What an ass.

Shuffled Like

Directions:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense. NO CHEATING!
4. Tag people to play this game too.

How are you feeling today?
I'm Only Sleeping (The Vines)

Will you get far in life?
Megalomaniac (Incubus)

How do your friends see you?
You Wouldn't Believe (311)

Will you get married?
Be Alone No More (Another Level)

What is your best friend's theme song?
Remember Me (Hoobastank)

What is the story of your life?
Basket Case (Greenday)

What was high school like?
High (Parokya Ni Edgar)

How can you get ahead in life?
Cathedral Of Space (Wolfgang)

What is the best thing about your friends?
Prayer (Disturbed)

What is today going to be like?
Bohemian Rhapsody (Queen)

What is in store for you this weekend?
The One (Foo Fighters)

What song Describes you?
Don't Know Why (Norah Jones)

To describe your grandparents?
Kung OK Lang Sayo (Truefaith)

How is your life going?
Don't Say Goodbye, Say Goodnight (Binocular)

What song will they play at your funeral?
Bitch Please 2 (Eminem)

How does the world see you?
Globes And Maps (Something Corporate)

Will you have a happy life?
As The Music Plays The Band (Bamboo)

What do your friends really think of you?
Lost In You (Ash)

Do people secretly lust after you?
Underneath It All (No Doubt)

How can I make myself happy?
Easily (Red Hot Chili Peppers)

What should you do with your life?
Truly Madly Deeply (Savage Garden)

Will you ever have children?
This Is The Last Time (Keane)

NGN Kick-Off Party

Excerpt taken from PLDT's annual report entitled Broadbanding the Future:
"Telecommunications is full of perplexing acronyms - PSTN, CMTS, GSM, EWSD, WCDMA, TCP/IP to mention a few. Now, here comes another one - NGN, short for Next Generation Network. A formal definition of NGN goes something like this: a cluster of emerging computer network architectures and technologies that encompass voice, data and video through which all information is efficiently transmitted via digital packets of data just like over the Internet."

We just had our NGN kick-off party at Dad's Restaurant in Megamall. 'Twas an eat-all-you-can buffet so we all stuffed ourselves silly. I wasn't really able to enjoy the main dishes coz I so wanted to dig into the desserts kagad. Puffs and cakes and salads... all were pieces of heaven on my tongue! Yum! If only I could bring some home... Eheü

After dinner, there was a short program where we had to introduce ourselves one by one, stating our name, our school, and our talents. Most of us said that we have no talent just to cut the introduction short. But an extremely unpredictable person did an extremely unpredictable stunt. Grabe talaga. I dunno what to say. "Ratatatatatat!!!!"

At around 9pm, we rolled ourselves out of Dad's, full and tired and twenty pounds heavier. ;-)

Super Bowl-ing

We had work today in lieu of our day off on December 21(?!). Oddly enough, I enjoyed working on a Saturday! No need to fall in line, no rush hour traffic, no unruly commuters to deal with, and I arrived at the office in 15 minutes! Haha! Can't we just work on Saturdays instead of Mondays??

Come 6pm, we all took a break from work and participated in a bowling tournament hosted by the Admin. 'Twas held at StarMall so we decided to just walk the distance. Needless to say, we arrived at the venue all tired, and sweaty, and thirsty, and hungry. All set to bowl, eh?

Though I've played duckpin bowling before, back in the days when my dad was still a Rotarian, tonight was my first shot at ten-pin bowling. During the practice, I tried playing with a 9 pound ball but Boss Che thought that I'm not Superwoman enough and later gave me a lighter one. But still, the ball got heavier and heavier as the game went on! TIRED. That's what I was. Playing without taking a bite will leave you just that. But I had fun, really! Loads of it.

Nweiz, the game ended with me throwing two gutterballs and one strike. I wasn't that bad, I think. At least I didn't come out last in the ranking and I wasn't crowned Gutterball Queen. But I promise myself that I'm gonna improve on my personal best of 70 points next time! ;)

Don't Judge A Book...

Watched The Da Vinci Code with my officemates. After 16 months of anticipation and several weeks of media hype and controversy!

Well, I won't say I was disappointed; that's too strong a word. I did enjoy some parts of it anyway. It's always fun to watch scenes you've once created in your mind come to life. But the movie just left me... BLAH. Yep, that's the word. When the credits rolled, I was like "That was it?". Coz a lot of details were missed. I understand that the movie couldn't dwell into all the Da Vinci paintings, symbols, and stuff discussed in the book coz it would probably take more than 5 hours to include all that. (To think that 2.5 hours is ass-numbing enough especially when you're seated awkwardly on the floor.) And though I don't see the point of changing the scene wherein Robert Langdon saw the photo of the dead curator (In the book: Langdon was at the Hotel Ritz Paris, he was awakened by a phone call, Lt. Collet giving the photo to Langdon. In the movie: Langdon was at a book signing, Lt. Collet approached and handed him the photo). That I really don't mind. But why omit the detail about the guy in the Rosslyn Chapel who is actually Sophie's brother??

Hai. Do not judge a book by its movie talaga.

Shattered Glass

The straw that will break the camel's back has finally been drawn. A light plastic straw that will bring this house made of glass shattering at our feet.

Honestly, I felt nothing upon hearing the news. No shock, no sadness, no anger, no nothing. It became such a vicious cycle that I was left tired and numb. I had to think about my reaction coz it didn't come naturally. Should I react like an adult and just accept the fact that what's broken is broken? Or should I let myself feel the pain that a kid in my position would feel?

I am an adult, I thought. So I chose to act like one.

But as I crawled under the sheets, locked within the four corners of my room, the pieces of glass slowly cut through my heart. And I felt each jagged edge as it did. I felt the pain. Suffice it to say, I'm still a kid afterall.

Au Revoir

If there's one person who had taught me a lot ever since my first day at Tsukiden, it's Boss Rhom. Before we got deployed, he was the one who conducted the C Refresher Training. And man, did he train us well! Because of him, I no longer fear working with data structures. Doubly linked list, you say? Just bring it on! Well, as long as you don't mind memory leaks. Nyaha.

To Boss Rhom, I'm super grateful that I had the pleasure to work with you and learn from you. I wish you all the luck and may this new path fly you to France! Hehe! ;)

"... Tsukiden and all of you are my family.. kaya it was really hard for me to make this decision... pero priorities change and I have to make this career move."

Under Pressure

The past few days have been, for lack of a better word, fucking insane. We're having a burst of activity at work, doing a crash course on C++ and coding up our machine problems. Two weeks from now, we'll start yet another crash course tutorial on Advance Unix Programming. Everything in less than a month! Waaahh!!! Mind, please don't crash on me. Please?

~o0o~

I bought myself some drugs. Uhh..vitamins, I mean. One pack will prevent me from looking twice my age. And the other will make me... complete. Hehe. Now, in between jagged chunks of pressure and stress, I'll have twice the energy of an ordinary superhero! ^_^

El Despedida

Had a dinner at Congo Grille for Sir Jong's farewell gathering of sorts. Everything's on him so we ordered our hearts out - sinigang na hipon, chicken sisig, chicken and fries, tuna belly, and... crispy pata! Hehe! I know it's not exactly the healthiest thing in the world, but it sure does taste good, right? And who cares about cholesterol, anyway?!

At one point, Sir Jong told us that he may be leaving for greener pastures, but his heart will remain at Tsukiden. *Awww* You can't get any cheesier than that. ^_^

Shouldn't Couldn't Wouldn't

You know what they say about the eyes being the window to one's soul? How looking into them can reveal so much about a person? Well, have you ever tried looking into someone's eyes? Have you ever tried looking deep into them, as if they were the ocean and you were trying to see the bottom? Have you ever tried looking into YOUR eyes?

I looked at myself in the mirror and I saw someone whose eyes were brimming with emptiness. Like I was standing in front of a stranger whose stare I couldn't quite make out. If she was trying to tell me something, I wasn't really sure. And they say nobody knows you like yourself. So I thought I had to schedule an acquaintance party with me.

Which explains why I've been my anti-social self lately. It became difficult for me to look at other people in the eye coz I was afraid that they would see the emptiness that I saw. I wanted to detach myself from people, from the world. I wanted to get to know me again. But in the process of searching for myself, I created a gap between me and the people around me. And the lesser I interacted with them, the further the gap became.

I dunno what got into me that made me think or feel this way. I'm still trying to figure out what my brain is pushing me to think or what my heart is trying to make me feel. But one thing I know, and of this I am sure, is that I shouldn't allow this gap to get so far that it would be impossible for me to cross it.

I shouldn't.

I wouldn't.

Bad, Bad News

Lola Soly was supposed to be discharged from the hospital today. But while Tito Arnel was fixing their things, lola's speech became slurred. The nurses suspected a stroke so they immediately gave her a dose of citicoline. But the stroke ran its course. Her speech was impaired and her right arm and leg were paralyzed. According to the doctor, she had a thrombotic infarct in her left brain that was a bit bigger than her first. Right now, all her medications and food are given through a tube in her nose that goes straight into her stomach.

I got home from work expecting to see my lola home and well. But instead, I was welcomed with the bad news. I felt weak and depressed when I heard it from my mom. To think that lola had gained a lot of ground by way of recovery since her last stroke last 2004. And now we're back to square one. Back to the slow process of recovery and healing. :(

I pray for the returned health and healing of Lola Soly. And may God grant us the faith and strength to persevere in this struggle.

Nursing 101

Last March 25, Lola Soly was confined in the hospital for throwing up everytime she eats. After running a series of tests, she was diagnosed of having both ulcer and diabetes.

Whenever I can, I help my uncle and my mom in nursing lola. Like today, I stayed at the hospital from 8am to 8pm. My uncle had a meeting then so I was left to nurse alone. Good thing there was a TV set, which kept me from getting bored. One thing I've learned though is to never watch Wag Kukurap alone especially when you're in a hospital. Coz when I saw lola lift her hand, like she's reaching out for something unseen (at least for me), I immediately texted my mom to come over. Yes, what a wimp I am.

Though she still can't eat right because of the pain in her stomach, I think she's doing pretty well now. In fact, the doctor told us that she can already be discharged tomorrow. Thank Heavens. ^_^

Constant Is Change

We live in a world where nothing is constant but change.
It may be as natural as the change of weather.
Something necessary like the shedding of an outgrown snakeskin.
Something we expect like the rising and setting of the sun.
Or something that's quite the opposite,
Like the sudden change of font style in this line, for example.

Everything around us changes.

Seasons change.
Tides change.
Winds change.
We change.

We change the way we walk,
the way we talk,
the way we brush our teeth.
We change our looks,
our moods,
our attitudes,
our priorities.
We keep changing our minds.
Sometimes, even our hearts.
We grow up.
We grow old.
And whether we like it or not,
we grow apart.

Things change.
And so do people.

~o0o~

"But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same"
--- Everybody's Changing, Keane

Google Thinks I Am...

kringle is more fragile
kringle is a gift of art
kringle is special
kringle is a charming little rascal
kringle is also known as steve morse
kringle is without a doubt their crowning achievement
kringle is sincere and completely touching in every respect
kringle is the true santa claus and gives happy dreams to everybody
kringle is the only element that gives the original a run for its money
kringle is ready to celebrate christmas or anything else you can think of
kringle is a drunk sketch in yellow marker from my french workbook
kringle is not yet old enough to grow a beard

What a silly silly way to kill time. Go on! Try it yourself! Ta-ra!

A Week In Words

:: Monday ::
Last Friday, PGMA declared a state of emergency in response to yet another supposed coup attempt. Because of this, we were allowed to go home early and the deadline for our assessment exercise was extended up to 5pm today. I finished it before lunch but decided not to submit it yet. At 1:30, we had our lecture with Boss Joseph about the IT Outsourcing Industry. I thought it would last for 2 hours at most but it took us about 4 hours to go through all 70+ slides. The lecture itself was very, very informative. It gave me a deeper understanding of the kind of industry that I am in and how this type of business really works. But because of the length of the discussion, I wasn't able to submit my assessment exercise on time. Grrr.

:: Tuesday ::
Had a code review of the assessment exercise with Sir Rhom. 'Twas like a defense without the document and the panelists. So no need to kiss ass by preparing food and drinks. Nweiz, the code review went just fine. There was one possible combination though that I had overlooked. Sir Rhom left me for 5 minutes and asked me to debug the program. 5 minutes? Nyaha. Robot ba ako??

Then at 3pm, we had our lecture with Sir Zaldy about C Programming. I was very sleepy so most of the things he said just went in one ear and out the other without making any contact with my brain. >_<

:: Wednesday ::
I almost got myself killed on my way to work. I was crossing a one-way street nonchalantly, when a speeding FX counter-flowed and passed right in front of my face! I stood an inch away from death! And I mean that quite literally! I was really this close--->[_________________] from getting hit!!! Grabe. Had I made that single step a few centimeters farther, I'm one dead meat. Thank God I didn't.

Nweiz, I didn't do much at the office. Just had a brief lecture with Sir Rhom about the Fundamentals of C Programming and a not so brief lecture with Boss Joseph about CMMI. After that, I tried to familiarize myself with some Hiragana characters until it's time to go home.

Before heading home, I checked my bank account and learned that I already received my first pay! Since we'll be having our company outing on Saturday, I planned to keep it a secret first so that my parents won't cut my allowance until Friday. When I got home, my mom asked me if I already received my salary and I told her that I haven't received my payslip yet so I still don't know. Which was, of course, a la-la-la-lie!!! I know, my bad.

:: Thursday ::
Sir Rhom gave us our first hands-on exercise. 'Twas just a mere application of the control structures so we finished it in less than an hour. We also had our pictures taken for the company ID and for our batch picture.

:: Friday ::
At around 9 in the morning, something got into my eye that caused it to hurt so much. I applied several drops of Eye-mo and tried to wash it out with water a coupla times but nothing worked. Sir Ranzie asked me if I wanted to go to the hospital coz it looked bad already but I told him that there's no need. I had to close my left eye the ENTIRE day to help lessen the pain and do things half-blindedly. And though it did lessen the pain, I suffered a teary, red eye, a blurred vision and a terrible headache in return. The moment I got home, I applied Eye-mo again but this time, it was suuuper painful. Think papercut on your tongue. Yeah, THAT kind of pain. And that's when I broke down. My dad brought me to the EENT and the doctor took that fuckin' speck of dust out of my eye. Finally! After 10 hours! He examined my eye and saw scratches and a swelling inside my eyelid. He advised me to rest it for the swelling to subside and to just stay at home for it'll be more sensitive to sunlight, or any lightsource for that matter. Karma was served, indeed. :(

:: Saturday ::
Probably, as I type this entry, they are now swimming or fishing or racing with their kayaks or go karts or just enjoying the beautiful scenery at Clearwater. It's just sad that I don't get to join them and to think that among my batchmates, I was the one who was really excited about the outing and it was I who asked them to come coz they were undecided at first! ARGH!!!

Lesson relearned: "No, no, no baby, no, no, no, no don't lie..." >_<