Shouldn't Couldn't Wouldn't

You know what they say about the eyes being the window to one's soul? How looking into them can reveal so much about a person? Well, have you ever tried looking into someone's eyes? Have you ever tried looking deep into them, as if they were the ocean and you were trying to see the bottom? Have you ever tried looking into YOUR eyes?

I looked at myself in the mirror and I saw someone whose eyes were brimming with emptiness. Like I was standing in front of a stranger whose stare I couldn't quite make out. If she was trying to tell me something, I wasn't really sure. And they say nobody knows you like yourself. So I thought I had to schedule an acquaintance party with me.

Which explains why I've been my anti-social self lately. It became difficult for me to look at other people in the eye coz I was afraid that they would see the emptiness that I saw. I wanted to detach myself from people, from the world. I wanted to get to know me again. But in the process of searching for myself, I created a gap between me and the people around me. And the lesser I interacted with them, the further the gap became.

I dunno what got into me that made me think or feel this way. I'm still trying to figure out what my brain is pushing me to think or what my heart is trying to make me feel. But one thing I know, and of this I am sure, is that I shouldn't allow this gap to get so far that it would be impossible for me to cross it.

I shouldn't.

I wouldn't.